bigjohn

“Old age ain't no place for sissies.” .. Bette Davis

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  • My Life and Times

    I was born in 1939 BC.
    That’s ‘Before Computers’.

    Luckily I survived the following events in my life, such as

    World War II, The London Blitz, Rationing, and worst of all… Archbishop Temple’s School.

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    During the mid 1950s I was enjoying Rock ‘n’ Roll and being a first generation teenager, when suddenly, just like Elvis, I found myself in uniform during ‘The Cold War’…and then

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    I became ‘a family’. Which meant that I sort of missed the ‘swinging sixties’, but still managed to look a complete prat in the 70s, just like everyone else.

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    During the ‘Thatcher Years’ I lost my hair and a lot of people lost a good deal more. My career fluctuated to say the least as I was demoted, promoted, fired and hired a number of times, but still I managed to stagger on into a welcome retirement and to celebrate 56 years of happy marriage.

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What will she show us next ?

Posted by Big John on May 13, 2019

I’m sorry that I have not been blogging recently, but I’m sure that you will understand when I tell you that I have been absorbed, as has the rest of the world, with the arrival of the latest addition to ‘er Maj’s motley mob.

All that .. Hand on bump and .. “When will she?” .. “Where will she?”  .. and .. Pink or blue booties ? .. I couldn’t sleep for worrying about such a momentous event.

However, we can now answer the last question … It’s NO little booties ! .. How do we know this ? .. Well, can you believe that, Archie’s little feet are now front page NEWS

What I can’t understand is why they have named him ‘Archie’.  I don’t like it ! Therefore, I have decided to refer to this Anglo-American infant by a combination of both his mother’s and father’s family names, i.e .. ‘Win’ from “Windsor” and ‘kle’ from “Merkle”. To me he will always be known as little “Prince” …

…. “Winkle” !

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Posted in humour, rant | 2 Comments »

No ! .. It’s not “Game of Thrones” Day.

Posted by Big John on April 23, 2019

OK .. I know, most English people ‘don’t do’ Saint George’s Day.

However, this year I am flying the flag to celebrate that good old dragon slaying saint, who is believed to have been born in Turkey and served in the Roman Army in the third century ‘AD’ or ‘CE’ if you are ‘PC’.

Old Georgie must have got around quite a bit as he finished up being the patron saint of not only England, but also of Georgia, Egypt, Bulgaria, Aragon, Catalonia, Romania, Ethiopia, Greece, India, Iraq, Lithuania, Palestine, Portugal, Serbia, Ukraine and Russia, as well as the cities of Genoa, Amersfoort, Beirut, Fakiha, Bteghrine, Cáceres, Ferrara, Freiburg, Kumanovo, Ljubljana, Pomorie, Qormi, Rio de Janeiro, Lod, Lviv, Barcelona, Moscow, the Maltese island of Gozo and Gawd knows where else.

I must admit that I am a bit puzzled as to how he became ‘English’ as there was no such place as England back then, but then, and unlike in Westeros, there weren’t any …

…  bloody dragons either !

Posted in humour, religion | 3 Comments »

More hypocritical Harry !

Posted by Big John on April 5, 2019

Talk about … “You couldn’t make it up!” … for, it seems that, ‘The Ginger Whinger of Windsor’.. AKA .. HRH Prince Harry, fears that … “Growing up in today’s world, social media is more addictive than drugs and alcohol”.

‘Nothing wrong with that’ … I hear you say … ‘it’s probably true’ ! .. and, for once, I have to agree with HRH (His Royal Hairyness).

However, he just happened to say this around the same time that he and ‘Me-Me’-Meghan took a break from all those ‘touchy-feely’ photo-ops to launch …”sussexroyal” … on … ‘Instagram’ !

I guess that they must have recovered from their previous trauma caused by all that …

… “public and press intrusion” !  

Posted in humour, rant | 3 Comments »

Democracy ? … Guess what !

Posted by Big John on March 29, 2019

Today was the day when the UK was to leave the EU, and ….

…   We bloody well didn’t !

Why ? … Because those arse … people who were elected to parliament to represent and carry out the will of the British people …

…  ‘bloody well didn’t’ !

Posted in political, rant | 3 Comments »

Too much too soon !

Posted by Big John on February 27, 2019

According to press reports …”Primary school children from the age of five are to be taught about gay and transgender relationships as part of compulsory lessons,” .. and .. “children as young as four will be taught about relationships, staying safe online and the link between physical and mental health.”

Well, good luck with that ! ..

… I’ve been around for a very long time and I’m still confused, despite the fact that I had a bi-sexual aunt, a transvestite workmate, a rather ‘camp’ lesb .. thespian neighbour, a ‘flirty’ Flight Sergeant, and, long before homosexuality was made legal in the UK, I knew one or two of the ‘usual suspects’ when they ventured out of their ‘closets’. Blimey ! I even remember when the word ‘gay’ had a very different meaning.

Now, as I have previously stated … “I couldn’t care less if someone is gay, straight, bi-sexual and all the rest, so long as they do no harm to others and “don’t frighten the horses”.

However, I have to wonder how a teacher explains about ‘LGBTI’ and all that .. ‘gender fluidity’ .. ‘male/female binary’ ..’gender self-identification’ .. and the rest to young children who cannot possibly understand such a complicated subject; and, more importantly, at that tender age, …

… do they really need to know about it ? 

Posted in family, humour, nostalgia, rant | 4 Comments »

“Fake News!” … I wonder ?

Posted by Big John on February 11, 2019

Today is my birthday, and it feels great to have reached “the ripe old age” of eighty.

Last year, on my birthday I posted that …

“I’ve just ‘Googled’ today’s date to see if any significant event happened in “this sceptred isle” on this day 79 years ago … Nothing ! .. Nowt! .. Zilch ! .. Nada !”

… and this year I’m hoping to find out if that was true, as today I received a large package containing this …

… On opening the box I found this …

… An original copy of ‘The Times’ for the day of my birth !

….   Keep watching this space.

Posted in family, humour, nostalgia | 3 Comments »

Does Brexit mean no more continental breakfasts ?

Posted by Big John on February 9, 2019

I’ve just had a long telephone conversation with my American cousin who lives in Upstate New York. He is now in his eighties and, as you would expect, he is not as fit as he used to be. However, his brain is as sharp as ever, and although he has lived in the United States for 60 years and is a patriotic US citizen, he has managed to retain his British sense of humour.

The reason he called was to get my perspective on the Brexit situation, as he is getting the impression, from the US media, that here in the UK the myths of ‘Project Fear’ are about to come true, and that we will soon be running out of life saving drugs, starving as our supermarket shelves empty, and our other imports dry up, as we are cut off from the rest of Europe.

Now, I had to remind him of a far worse period of our history, which we both lived through as children when playing in the ruins of war torn London: and of all those years of food rationing, including sweets (candy), when all that Spam and powdered eggs from America was most welcome.

I’m now awaiting …

… my first food parcel !

Posted in family, History, humour, nostalgia, political | 2 Comments »

“On the fritz” and freezing !

Posted by Big John on February 4, 2019

It’s the middle of winter … It’s below zero and freezing outside … It’s Sunday night … It’s the coldest night of the year … I’m tired and I want to go to bed …  I switch the central heating to 24hrs … AND … Guess what ?

… Nothing ! …. IT’S NOT BLOODY WORKING !

It’s that time of year once again ! … Recently I have replaced …

  •  A fridge/freezer as the ice in the frost free section could have sunk ‘The Titanic’.
  •  An ‘all-in-one’ printer, which turned into a colour free paper shredder.
  •  An electric fan heater which decided that it was summer.
  •  Some ‘bits’ (don’t ask) for my car’s engine, after it’s annual MOT test.

… and, as you would expect, a number of those stupid sodding light bulbs which we were promised would “last a lifetime” by that bunch of slippery chancers who, at present, are screwing up ‘Brexit’ !

I have to leave this little rant here for the present, as it is now Monday morning and I have just looked out of the window and “Hooray!” I can see … “Is it a bird? Is it a plane?” … No! .. It’s Kevin the heating engineer from …

… ‘British Gas’ !

Posted in humour, rant | Leave a Comment »