bigjohn

“Old age ain't no place for sissies.” .. Bette Davis

  • Warning ! Very Old Person Blogging

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  • My Life and Times

    I was born in 1939 BC.
    That’s ‘Before Computers’.

    Luckily I survived the following events in my life, such as

    World War II, The London Blitz, Rationing, and worst of all… Archbishop Temple’s School.

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    During the mid 1950s I was enjoying Rock ‘n’ Roll and being a first generation teenager, when suddenly, just like Elvis, I found myself in uniform during ‘The Cold War’…and then

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    I became ‘a family’. Which meant that I sort of missed the ‘swinging sixties’, but still managed to look a complete prat in the 70s, just like everyone else.

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    During the ‘Thatcher Years’ I lost my hair and a lot of people lost a good deal more. My career fluctuated to say the least as I was demoted, promoted, fired and hired a number of times, but still I managed to stagger on into a welcome retirement and to celebrate 60 years of happy marriage.

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    Copyright © 2021

    All Rights Reserved

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What a day ! .. What a day !

Posted by Big John on June 1, 2022

Yes ! .. The ‘Platinum Jubilee’ has arrived at last, and I am so excited, just like all of ‘er Maj’s other subjects who ‘worship’ those wonderful ‘royals’, which includes that so private pair, who have come here all the way from California, and the Archbishop’s best mate, if his royal mummy allows him on the Buckingham Palace balcony.

Unfortunately, I’m a bit too old now to spend the night outside the palace with all those royal fanatics, or attend one of those wonderful street parties with all my favourite neighbours. However, I have decorated my house with large flags, red, white and blue bunting and a huge picture of ‘er Maj.

Oh! and before I forget, I have treated myself to a ‘jubilee pizza‘ and a bottle or two of ‘jubilee beer’ to be enjoyed while spending the day watching TV and toasting the Royal Family .. and ..

.. “If you believe that, then you will believe anything” !

Posted in humour | 4 Comments »

“Every picture tells a story”.

Posted by Big John on March 1, 2022

At the age of eighty-three memories of childhood fade, but today, when I opened my daily newspaper a very clear memory returned when I saw this picture …

… for, as a child, I had done just what they are doing … by taking shelter from a possible missile attack !

I had started school towards the very end of WW2 in Europe, and all that I can remember is sitting on the floor of a cloakroom with my back against the wall, just like the children in that picture.

The end of “my war” was “Just around the corner”.

We can only hope that also applies to “their war” !

Posted in nostalgia, political | 1 Comment »

“83 today” !

Posted by Big John on February 11, 2022

Yes! .. It’s my birthday .. I know ! .. I can hardly believe it myself.

Don’t worry, I’m not going to “bore the pants off of you” with tales about “the good old days” etc. If you want that, just go to the righthand sidebar and click on almost any date in the ‘archives’ to get a glimpse of this grumpy old git’s life in those “days of yore” (I told you that I was old).

I have to say that when I observe today’s “high-tech”, but “dumbed-down” way of life, I feel lucky to have been around during a bygone era, which wasn’t exactly like living in some utopia, but neither was it the crude world that so many moronic and egotistical people seem to live in today.

Having said that, I’m off to open my presents. Unfortunately they are unlikely to include …

… a time machine !

Posted in family, humour, nostalgia | 2 Comments »

Panicky Putin ? .. I doubt it !

Posted by Big John on January 28, 2022

Hands up if you know what ‘NATO’ stands for and can point to Ukraine on a map of the world ? … If you can, you are probably more knowledgeable than most of those who sit on those green benches in the House of Commons and obviously think that it is a good idea for the UK to get involved militarily in a conflict between the “Russian Bear” and the “Kiev Chicken” (Sorry, I couldn’t resist that one),

OK .. So it’s no laughing matter (remember our Tony, George Bush and those “Weapons of Mass Destruction” ?); but I can’t honestly believe that Vladimir Putin is going to be deterred from whatever he is planning by the meagre amount of missiles recently delivered to the Ukrainian forces by the British military: and as for “look at me! .. look at me Lizzy!” ? A.K.A.. our Foreign Secretary .. Well ..

… Need I say more ?

Posted in humour, political | 2 Comments »

“It couldn’t happen to … “

Posted by Big John on January 14, 2022

I can hardly believe it, but I seem to be experiencing a double dose of “Schadenfreude”, because two of the most insufferable people in this country now find themselves ‘up to their necks’ in all sorts of trouble.

Yes ! .. ‘Randy’ Andy’s mum, better known as ‘er Maj, has banned him from the royal dressing up box for being a “very naughty boy“: and it could be “goodbye” to our partying prime minister, Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson.

“Always look on the bright side”

Posted in humour, political | Leave a Comment »

Christmas revisited.

Posted by Big John on December 20, 2021

I hope that you will forgive me for taking a seasonal walk down ‘memory lane’, but I just remembered a post which you may find interesting and amusing. I published it for the first time back in 2014 …

“I know that this must sound strange to many people, but I can remember when Christmas started  … at Christmas ! .. Not, as I recently read  … “during August” !

When I was a young child nothing much happened in our house until Christmas Eve apart from my dad ‘dispatching’ one of our chickens in the back yard and hanging it in the coal cellar (Yes, that’s where the meat was kept). Later my mum would pluck it and prepare it for Christmas dinner. To most people, in those days, ‘Turkey’ meant a place where they made strange smelling cigarettes.

On Christmas Eve my dad would bring home a small fir tree of some kind, which had probably been growing alongside the railway track where he had been working that day. He would also have with him a sack containing a limited assortment of fruit and nuts. No one ever asked where they came from, as wartime rationing (which continued for long after WWII) meant that an orange was something to be marvelled at: and I well remember that the first time I saw a banana I thought it was some sort of sausage.

From inside his overcoat pocket he would produce a bottle of Scotch whisky, which would have recently been ‘under the counter’ of the local off-licence (liquor store), which was run by one of his mates. He would return to the store later to pick up a crate of ‘Guinness’ and a bottle of ‘Tizer’ for me. Wine was far too ‘posh’ and was limited to sherry or port if any could be found.

My task was to make the paper chains, which I did with my mum’s help. She cut up the coloured paper and I glued the strips together with home-made paste, which didn’t always stick. Holly would be hung all over the place: and I suspect that this came from the same place as the little fir tree, which would soon be decorated with a few ‘antique’ glass baubles and some tatty tinsel.

My grandmother lived in the same street as us, and was a bit like a fairy godmother when Christmas came around, for not only did she make Christmas puddings for all the family, but somehow, managed to come up with a few extra goodies, mostly supplied by a local butcher (we never found out how she blackmailed him), and various friendly ‘black-market’ contacts. A few items had been ‘liberated’ by dodgy members of our gallant allies, the United States Army.

On Christmas Eve I would hang up a pair of my dad’s long woollen socks, snuggle down under the blankets, watch the shadows on the wall made by a glowing fire and wish: but I never did get …

…  that bloody train set !

Posted in familyhumournostalgia | Edit |

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a Comment »

Have you missed me ?

Posted by Big John on November 27, 2021

No ! … I’ve not quite given up blogging altogether. I guess that I have just “run out of steam” after all these years. The ‘targets’ for my rants remain more or less the same, and, at times, I forget and repeat subjects which I covered long ago.

However ! … Having said that, I was tempted to “air my views” on the recent not so jolly ‘junket’ that was COP26, where leaders of the main planet polluting nations didn’t bother to turn up to the conference. Blimey! .. Even Greta ‘Thingy’ said that it was .. a “two-week long celebration of business as usual and blah, blah, blah”. Remind me, did she and most of the other eco-warriors not arrive by plane followed by clouds of carbon dioxide ?

Just before I go I must confirm that the same old gang of self serving, hypocritical, back stabbing, slippery chancers are sitting in the House of Commons playing with their smartphones and counting their expenses, while bonkers Boris dreams of building a bridge to Ireland at a cost of £335 Billion ! …

… need I say more ?

 

Posted in humour, political, rant | Leave a Comment »

“equal partners” ?

Posted by Big John on September 16, 2021

Yesterday was ‘The Ginger Whinger of Windsor’s 37th birthday, and I was going to send him a nice ‘Woke’ birthday card, but I forgot, as I was on my way to join all those other attention seekers who were blocking the M25 motorway and chatting with those nice friendly police officers, when I got caught up in all the traffic chaos.

However, I was thrilled today when I came across the latest issue of “Time” and saw those two plastic dolls which almost look as lifelike as the real “Megs and Haz”: although I would have preferred to see Harry in his “Action Man” army outfit, or one of his many uniforms with the medals given to him by his (?) ‘grandma’.

Now there’s a surprise ! .. I see that Megs is wearing …

those the trousers.

Posted in humour, rant | 1 Comment »