bigjohn

There is many a good tune played on an old fiddle.

  • Warning! Elderly Person Blogging

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  • My Life and Times

    I was born in 1939 BC. That's 'Before Computers'. Luckily I survived the following events in my life, such as World War II, The London Blitz, Rationing, and worst of all... Archbishop Temple's School.

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    During the mid 1950s I was enjoying Rock 'n' Roll and being a first generation teenager, when suddenly, just like Elvis, I found myself in uniform during 'The Cold War'...and then

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    I became 'a family'. Which meant that I sort of missed the 'swinging sixties', but still managed to look a complete prat in the 70s, just like everyone else.

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    During the 'Thatcher Years' I lost my hair and a lot of people lost a good deal more. My career fluctuated to say the least as I was demoted, promoted, fired and hired a number of times, but still I managed to stagger on into a welcome retirement and to celebrate 54 years of happy marriage.
  • December 2016
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Sounds about right.

Posted by Big John on December 6, 2016

The following is my list, in no particular order, of my favourite ten quotations …

  1. “Man will never be free until the last king is strangled with the entrails of the last priest.” – Denis Diderot
  2. “Old age ain’t no place for sissies.” – Bette Davis
  3. “Youth is wasted on the young.” – George Bernard Shaw
  4. “Hell is other people.” – Jean-Paul Sartre
  5. “A woman is only a woman, but a good cigar is a smoke.” – Rudyard Kipling
  6. “Anyone who hates children and animals can’t be all bad.” – W.C. Fields
  7. “Conceit is an outward manifestation of inferiority.” – Noël Coward
  8. “You know you’re getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you’re down there.” – George Burns 
  9. “Work is the curse of the drinking classes.”- Oscar Wilde
  10. “If I had no sense of humour, I would long ago have committed suicide.”  – Mahatma Gandhi

Oh ! .. and one epitaph, on the grave of Spike Milligan …

“I told you I was ill”

 

 

Posted in humour, political, religion | 1 Comment »

Bring on the bulldozers !

Posted by Big John on November 30, 2016

What has 775 rooms,  52 bedrooms, 188 staff bedrooms, 92 offices, 78 bathrooms and around 300 people working there ?

Why, Buckingham bleed’n Palace of course ! .. and according to recent reports it’s falling apart, so we our government is giving ‘er Maj £370 million to have the old dump repaired, despite the fact that they have, at the same time, stopped providing grants for the building of much needed social housing.

So, why not just demolish the place ? .. It’s not as if the old gel and Phil will be ‘out on the street’ and, unlike many of her subjects fellow citizens, wondering where they will spend the night. …

… “Balmoral, Sandringham or Windsor Castle, Phil ?” .. or .. “Perhaps Charlie and Cruella will let us have their spare room ?”

… and after the grotty palace has been razed to the ground, lots of that ‘social housing’ could be built on the site, plus a giant skateboard centre, a bloody great ‘McDonalds’, a multiplex cinema and a ‘Disney’ style theme park (including a castle) with Mickey Mouse guardsmen to keep all those dollar, yen and euro spending …

… tourists happy !

Posted in humour, political, rant | 4 Comments »

Adolescent angst plus !

Posted by Big John on November 22, 2016

It’s time, once again, to go into miserable old git mode as I try to understand how many young people in this country fail to appreciate that they are lucky to be alive in this day and age and why they …

  • .. suffer ’emotional distress’ when they break a fingernail ?
  • .. have a nervous breakdown when their smartphones don’t work ?
  • ..  ‘self-harm’ when some ‘boy band’ splits up ?
  • .. threaten suicide when called names ‘trolled’ on social media ?
  • .. are obsessed with the ‘celeb’ culture ?
  • .. no nothing of the suffering in the world today ?
  • .. wallow in ‘recreational grief’ ?
  • .. struggle with the English language ?
  • .. indulge in mass hysteria ?
  • .. can’t tell fact from fantasy ?
  • .. and why the sensitive and fragile little darlings are offended …

       ….  by just about everything ?

Posted in humour, rant | 2 Comments »

A vacation voyage to remember.

Posted by Big John on November 17, 2016

Have you ever had one of those ‘foreign’ experiences that didn’t quite turn out as you expected ?

Well back in the 1980’s we decided that we would give the ‘Costas’ and the South of France a miss as our annual holiday destinations and venture to a country which, up until that time, had not been a major mass tourist destination. Greece and it’s islands were popular, but nearby Turkey did not seem to attract the usual ‘package tour’ crowd.

So, off we went to a land of friendly and polite people who played strange music …

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Eat strange food, drank even stranger drinks …

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.. and where some of the ‘locals’ and their means of transport seemed to have come from a bygone age …

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Well, perhaps not as long ago as …

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Now the nearest Greek island to where we were staying was Samos, and after visiting Ephesus, we wondered if it was possible to visit the island that had once been home to both Pythagoras and Aesop ?

We found out that it was possible, but not to expect a warm welcome, as the Greeks were not too pleased when they received visitors from Turkey, but if we insisted on going we could find a boat to take us moored at the quay, and there it was …

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… Well, not exactly ! .. as a scruffy little man directed us to another part of the harbour, where we had one of those “Ooh, Shittt !” moments when we saw that we were about to cross the Aegean in one of these …

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… and we soon discovered that we were in for …

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…  a bloody long trip !

Posted in family, humour, nostalgia, travel | Leave a Comment »

“At the eleventh hour …”

Posted by Big John on November 11, 2016

I’ve just been reading that the last poor bugger to die in WWI was an American soldier who was killed as he attacked a German position in the last couple of minutes before the cease-fire. The German soldiers knew what time it was and waved him away, but he kept on coming at them and they had no choice …

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Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a Comment »

“The people have spoken, the bastards.” .. Dick Tuck

Posted by Big John on November 10, 2016

Donald Trump predicted that … “It’ll be Brexit .. Plus !.. Plus!.. Plus!” .. and he was right.

All I have to say is that the United States and Great Britain have delivered political ‘revolutions’ despite the fact that both countries have a reputation for stable political systems. Many people may not like it, but it’s democracy at work.

I wonder if all those protesters in the US who voted for Mrs. Clinton will no longer wish to be known as …

….  ‘Democrats’  ?

Posted in humour, political | 7 Comments »

A constitutional crisis or just another ‘cock-up’ ?

Posted by Big John on November 4, 2016

The majority of the British people voted to leave the European Union, and although this was bound to upset many people, it seemed that ‘Mother’ Theresa was going to make it happen ‘sooner rather than later’.

Now, I’m not quite sure why, but three High Court judges have ruled that the bunch of slippery chancers known as “Honourable” Members of Parliament and unelected peers must be involved in the procedure and that the Prime Minister does not have the right to use the Royal Prerogative to invoke ‘Article 50’ and start the process for ‘Brexit’.

I’m pretty sure that most of this self-serving hypocritical political ‘elite’ haven’t got the least respect for the wishes of those of us whom they consider to be ‘plebs’ and are now busy thinking up ways to dilute what the people had voted for by making amendments to any bill which would ensure that they are on a ‘nice little earner’ via their shifty fat cat mates in the City of London’s ‘old boy network’.

If you think that I am being a little harsh by using the term ‘slippery chancers’, you only have to look at .. ‘The Teflon MP” .. Keith Vaz, a.k.a. ‘Vazaline’, a former Europe minister and chairman of the Home Affairs Select Committee who resigned in September after claims that he paid two cocaine snorting ‘rent boys’ for sex, at a time when his committee was investigating prostitution; and, guess what ? .. His fellow MPs and ministers have now voted him into a vacant seat on (I’m not making this up) …

… The Justice Committee !

Posted in humour, political, rant | 1 Comment »

Happy Halloween America (and thanks a lot) !

Posted by Big John on October 31, 2016

I wonder who it was in this country who first saw an American movie where groups of happy children, wearing fancy dress, skipped along the street and where the smiling occupants of the houses displaying pumpkins on the porches cheerfully handed over handfuls of candy in response to the cries of …

“TRICK OR TREAT!” ?

.. and thought .. Now that’s a bloody good idea. Let’s forget about our traditional Halloween and make loads of money by selling all sorts of ‘spooky’ crap. We don’t have to worry too much about the ‘candy’ as British kids won’t know what that is, and anyway, they can always have fun by putting on a rubber skull mask, banging on some old lady’s door, demanding cash, trashing her front garden and …

… scaring the shit out of her !

Posted in humour, rant | 5 Comments »