Posted by Big John on February 23, 2015
During the late 1950’s I spent many nights sitting in front of a radar screen in an underground bunker on the south coast of England half listening for the big red telephone to ring, which would mean that … “THE RUSSIANS ARE COMING” ! … but it never rang and they never came !
Now, if you believe the ‘let’s scare the shit out of them’ stories in some of our newspapers, they could be on their way again ! .. and all because a couple of ‘ancient’ Russian bombers have been seen flying near Cornwall and a Russian warship has been sailing up the English Channel.
My all night vigils took place at the height of ‘The Cold War’, and I have to wonder what would have happened if the Soviet generals had known that all (well, almost all) that stood between them and southern Britain was a nineteen year old airman who was trying to stay awake by reading a movie magazine, drinking tea, eating a cheese sandwich, listening to the radio and using the military telephone lines to connect his fellow national servicemen, on duty at the edge of the ‘Iron Curtain’, to their girlfriends and families back home: whilst the other members of his ‘watch’ were catching up on their sleep or playing cards in the canteen.
So, don’t worry ! .. for however much our armed forces have been depleted, if they didn’t come then …
… they ain’t coming now !
Posted in humour, nostalgia, political | 4 Comments »
Posted by Big John on February 14, 2015
A few days ago potty Prince Charlie was said to have plans to change our ridiculous honours system, by limiting the gongs and orders handed out each year. Can you believe that this suggestion comes from a man who covers his many uniforms in medals and shiny stars given to him by his mum ?
Now we learn that ‘mum’ has arranged for Charlie’s younger brother Andy to be made a Vice Admiral in the Royal Navy. Surely some royal toady at the palace will be fired for not pointing out to ‘er Maj that Randy Andy is up to his neck in a so called sex-slave ‘vice‘ scandal at the moment ? … Well, perhaps not: for who knows what the rest of the freeloaders get up to on yet more holidays in Verbier or St. Barts ?
In the meantime sister Anne has donned her Admiral of the Fleet uniform to present some nutty old dame of a dress designer with the insignia of a real ‘Dame’. Gawd knows why ? … but then again, Gawd knows why this ‘fantasy land’ family, who symbolise arrogance and elitism, still receive bows and curtseys from
plebs people who live in …
… the real world !
Posted in humour, political, rant | 2 Comments »
Posted by Big John on February 5, 2015
In a comment on my last post .. Shirley .. referred to the ‘N’ word, which got me thinking back to my much younger days and how that word was sometimes used here in the UK, and how, unlike today, it was somehow deemed to be inoffensive. Remember that ‘The Dam Busters’ movie, released in 1955, featured Wing Commander Guy Gibson’s dog which was named ‘Nigger': and that ‘Nigger Brown’ was freely used when describing a popular colour for the fashions of the day. Also, a best seller by Agatha Christie was entitled “Ten Little Niggers” !
Prior to the arrival of the West Indian immigrants during the 1950’s, my knowledge of black people would have been gained from those stereotypes seen in Hollywood movies and early American TV comedy shows such as ‘Amos and Andy’, or ‘The Jack Benny Program’ with valet ‘Rochester’. No ‘N’ words in those shows, unlike all the ‘Nigga’ talk on American TV today.
When it came to home-grown entertainment, a famous and popular Music Hall (Vaudeville) entertainer was a white man, with blackened face, known as “The Chocolate Coloured Coon” ! .. and, can you believe, that for twenty years one of the most watched BBC TV shows was ‘The Black and White Minstrel Show’ where all the white male artists ‘blacked-up’ and performed in true ‘Swanee River’ style.
In the days when it was still possible to see a ‘Nigger Minstrel Show’ on a seaside beach when on holiday, it would seem likely that to most people the ‘N’ word would have been used rarely and without the intention of giving offense.
Am I saying that in those days all British people were not racist ? .. Of course not: as was shown fifty years ago when in a general election the slogan was used … “If You Want a Nigger for a Neighbour, Vote Labour”: and let us not forget that we Brits never needed to import derogatory and racially offensive slang words, as can be seen in a parliamentary speech when it was said … “Indeed, the Right Honourable Member for Woodford [i.e. Winston Churchill] thinks that …
… the ‘WOGS’ begin at Calais” !
Posted in humour, nostalgia, political | 4 Comments »
Posted by Big John on January 29, 2015
I see that ‘flavour of the month’ actor Benedict Cumberbatch has apologised for using the word ‘coloured’ when referring to black actors, even though he obviously meant no offence.
Now I know that in this day and age one has to tread very carefully when entering the ‘minefield’ of diversity, but I must be missing something here: so please do feel free to correct me; but isn’t there a huge organisation in the USA which since the early 20th century has sought to end discrimination on the basis of race, and isn’t it called the …
… National Association for the Advancement of Coloured People ?
Posted in political | 6 Comments »
Posted by Big John on January 3, 2015
My miserable week has been brightened up considerably by the news that the number one prince of parasites ‘Randy Andy’ is up to his neck in princely poop due to some ‘alleged’ royal rumpy-pumpy, so you must excuse me if I indulge myself in a few moments (well actually more than a few) of ‘schadenfreude’.
OK, so our so-called ‘royals’ have always been a bed-hopping bunch. Queen Victoria’s son, who later became King Edward VII, wasn’t called ‘Dirty Bertie’ for nothing: and it is well know that the old girl herself had a problem keeping her naughty knickers on. In fact, the list of royal sex scandals is endless, with everything from bi-sexual drug addict dukes, and duchesses having their toes sucked, to rumours about old royal
queens uncles chasing naked young guardsmen around the palace gardens at midnight !
I see that Buckingham Palace has issued a strongly worded denial of allegations that Prince Andrew was involved in “impropriety with underage minors”.
This denial reminds me of another great British sex scandal, only this one was political, which featured the late great Mandy Rice-Davies and that now famous quotation which she uttered when she heard that Lord Astor had denied that the affair happened …
… “He would, wouldn’t he?”
Posted in humour, political, rant | 2 Comments »
Posted by Big John on December 16, 2014
I suppose that I must have imagined it, but didn’t I once, not so long ago, hear a
lying basta… government minister tell us that our troops would never return to Iraq and that there would never again be any British ‘boots on the ground’ in Middle Eastern conflicts ?
Now it’s been
revealed rumoured that British Special Forces have conducted a series of attacks and are believed to have killed hundreds of ‘IS’ jihadis. It has also been announced that we will be sending hundreds of our soldiers to train Iraqi recruits, and that the USA has announced that it is committing 1,500 troops in the same role, while up to 400 Australian soldiers and 100 German (Blimey !) personnel will also be involved.
Umm ?.. Training? .. Why am I reminded about Vietnam, all those American ‘advisors’, and that old joke about rifles issued to the American trained ARVN (South Vietnamese Army) which where sold as army surplus and labelled ..
… “Never been fired and only dropped once” !
Posted in humour, political, rant | 4 Comments »
Posted by Big John on October 27, 2014
So the last British combat troops are leaving Afghanistan and Camp Bastion is no more. Even the memorials to those who died in this conflict have been removed. Let us hope that our American, and any other, allies still there will soon follow.
I won’t repeat what has so often been reported about the waste of so many lives, the ridiculous claims of ‘mission accomplished’ by some military commanders and politicians, and the staggering amounts of money spent; except to say that on the subject of money, I see that our government has promised £178 million per year in aid to Afghanistan until 2017.
I would suggest that they have it sent as a large bag of cash via some helicopter pilot, who has instructions to fly to Helmand province and drop it next to the first bearded tribesman he sees who is wearing a turban, carrying an AK47 and tending a poppy field; thereby …
… cutting out the middle man !
Posted in political, rant | 2 Comments »
Posted by Big John on October 17, 2014
Although I spend time on the internet and still have a daily newspaper delivered, most of what I learn about the world and much of what I see in the way of entertainment comes to me through my television screen: and, I must say that this grumpy old git sometimes regrets not leaving the TV on ‘standby’ !
For what I often see on my TV screen is a ‘shallow’ world where the cult of ‘celebrity’ is worshipped, and the crude and the vulgar is accepted without question. In this world wit and droll humour has been largely replaced by loutish behaviour and foulmouthed utterances.
This is not only seen in the world of entertainment, sport, and those dreadful ‘Reality’ TV shows, where ignorance and stupidity are applauded by screaming
morons fans; but, also in the political arenas of the world, where those who seek to govern we ‘lesser mortals’ often show themselves for the self-serving, arrogant, hypocritical incompetents that they are.
I also see a world where people still believe in medieval superstition, many of them wishing to drag us back to the dark ages in the name of some deity or other. Some are prepared to slaughter believers and non-believers alike, in the name of their religion, whilst others just want to rule over the gullible.
At the moment I see terror in Africa and panic in much of the world, as a frightening ‘plague’ threatens to spread: but apart from the efforts of a few brave health workers, little seems to be happening, and, as usual, our posturing political leaders don’t seem to have a clue what to do about it.
OK, so behind all the ghastly glitz and glitter, and amongst all the doom and gloom, I do occasionally glimpse a story which encourages me to believe that the whole world is not full of Philistines, fanatics and fools, but, regrettably, …
… it doesn’t happen very often !
Posted in humour, political, rant, religion | 1 Comment »