It’s nearly time for my annual Christmas greeting, but this year the excitment of the festive season pales into insignificance at the thought of … Oh joy ! … Royal nuptials in the spring !
Yes, ‘Whirlybird Willy’ the dashing helicoptor pilot is to wed Catherine the not so ‘Great’ in April. I wonder if it’s too early to start camping on the pavement (sidewalk) outside Westminster Abbey ?
So no Christmas lights and twinkling decorations for me this year, for the house will be decked with red, white and blue bunting, flags left over from the World Cup, a bloody great portrait of the happy pair outside ‘Mahiki’ and pictures of ‘er Maj, the Saxe-Coberg-Gotha clan and all their current ‘partners’.
I’ve already sent off my orders for all those so tasteful (made in China) souvenir mugs, T shirts, toilet roll holders etc. and I’m buying ‘she who must be obeyed’ a lovely limited edition statuette from a Sunday supplement of the ‘angel Diana’ looking down on the bride, groom and ‘ginger spare’ best man.
Now all I have to do, like so many old farts, is to save up to buy a wedding present for the lucky couple. I know, I’ll spend some of my ‘winter fuel allowance’ on something to help them set up home, for as we all know it’s tough starting married life in these hard times.
I wonder if Harrods will accept a postal order ?