bigjohn

There is many a good tune played on an old fiddle.

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  • My Life and Times

    I was born in 1939 BC.
    That’s ‘Before Computers’.

    Luckily I survived the following events in my life, such as

    World War II, The London Blitz, Rationing, and worst of all… Archbishop Temple’s School.

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    During the mid 1950s I was enjoying Rock ‘n’ Roll and being a first generation teenager, when suddenly, just like Elvis, I found myself in uniform during ‘The Cold War’…and then

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    I became ‘a family’. Which meant that I sort of missed the ‘swinging sixties’, but still managed to look a complete prat in the 70s, just like everyone else.

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    During the ‘Thatcher Years’ I lost my hair and a lot of people lost a good deal more. My career fluctuated to say the least as I was demoted, promoted, fired and hired a number of times, but still I managed to stagger on into a welcome retirement and to celebrate 56 years of happy marriage.

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Archive for the ‘humour’ Category

“It’s beginning to look a lot like …” !

Posted by Big John on July 24, 2017

.. It’s the middle of a blazing summer. June and July have seen some of the highest temperatures on record. I’m sitting here in a design.. sweaty T shirt, displaying my ‘shapely calves’ and ‘finely turned ankles’ below my fashionable old fart’s knee length shorts. My ‘Panama’ hat has seen more use than usual this year and my woollen socks have been discarded ‘for the duration’.

Today I enjoyed a light lunch of pasta salad, accompanied by a cold beer. I have just relaxed in my armchair and opened my newspaper, only to be confronted by an advertisement reading …

  “Book Now for a Magical Christmas” !

Posted in humour, rant | 1 Comment »

Don’t get too exited … Part 2

Posted by Big John on July 16, 2017

Many thanks for all your kind thoughts and comments; and at the request of my friend  .. Ginnie .. from North Carolina for a ‘selfie’ …

Well, we did try !

Posted in family, humour, nostalgia | 3 Comments »

Don’t get too excited !

Posted by Big John on July 8, 2017

Today is my 56th wedding anniversary !

This year the old ‘trouble and strife’ not only gave me the usual apron and ‘Marigold’ rubber gloves, but, Oh, joy ! .. she included a new mop and dust pan.

So, I’ve polished up the old ball and chain and am considering how to celebrate this joyful occasion.

Dinner at a restaurant ?  …  A visit to the local pub ? …  A Chinese take-away ? … A fish and chip supper ? … or perhaps just a ‘quiet night in’ adding a little teriyaki sauce to our sushi and tempura prawns and listening to a cork or two ‘pop!’.

I wonder what’s on …

Sky Movies ?

Posted in family, humour, nostalgia, Uncategorized | 7 Comments »

For one day only.

Posted by Big John on July 4, 2017

HAPPY 4th JULY 

TO ALL MY AMERICAN FRIENDS AND FAMILY

and .. “Pass the turkey”  … Oops ! … Sorry ! … Wrong holiday.

 

Posted in family, History, humour, nostalgia | 2 Comments »

“Never complain. Never explain” .. Benjamin Disraeli

Posted by Big John on June 27, 2017

HRH .. ‘His Royal Harryness’ .. From ‘hence forward’ to be known as ‘The Ginger Whinger of Windsor’ has decided not to join us peasants in the real world out of loyalty to his dear old gran, ‘er Maj’.

It comes as no great surprise to me that he wishes to stay in the highly privileged sycophantic world of ‘royal fantasy land’, where he can play polo, be pampered, piss about all day (with Megan ?) and live in a palace rather than take responsibility for his own life and get a proper job.

If he loved life in the army so much, why doesn’t he return to the military life. He would soon be promoted and his gran could pin a few more medals on his chest, as there is bound to be another war coming along soon, and he could once again take a couple of  ‘brief tours’ surrounded by SAS bodyguards and play at being “Hero Harry”, instead of being just another hedonistic …

… ‘Hooray Henry’ !

Posted in humour, rant | 2 Comments »

What a way to run a country !

Posted by Big John on June 13, 2017

For the first time in my life I did not vote in a general election, mainly because I’ve had enough of being governed by a bunch of self-serving hypocritical slippery chancers, who’s manifestos did not make me feel that I should rush to the polling station knowing that my future prosperity would be secure and our country would be in safe hands.

I then learned, after one of the biggest cock-ups in our political history, that our Prime Minister and her cabinet appeared to have had little to do with the proposed future government policies as they were conceived in the brains minds of two unelected advisors from Westminster’s ‘La-La Land’ known as the ‘gruesome twosome’ !

Now, after her failed gamble, we have one of the weakest prime ministers ever, who could be ousted at any moment, and who is about to start Brexit negotiations with the EU. Something which she wasn’t in favour of in the first place.

… What could possibly go wrong ? 

Posted in humour, political, rant | 4 Comments »

“Thanks for the Memory”.

Posted by Big John on May 30, 2017

At the age of 78 memories fade, and it is hard to believe that my earliest memory is of sitting up in my pram on a rainy day and watching the raindrops splashing on the waterproof fabric covering my legs. I guess that I must have been about one year old at the time.

I have clear memories of my young days during World War II, of aircraft engines, searchlights in the sky, gunfire and sheltering with my mother. I can remember the troop trains that steamed passed our house around the time of ‘D Day’.

My first day at school is as clear to me now as it was then, as are the names of most of my young friends and the games we played in the street.

My ‘world’ was a very small one back then, but it was soon to expand into employment, military service, marriage and parenthood. I’ve had a good life. I have been bloody lucky ! .. I have many happy memories; and the old brainbox is still functioning, if a little slowly, when I try to recall some event or other: which is more than can be said for the confused, but smiling, ‘old dear’ I met this morning, who couldn’t remember …

… where she had parked her car ! 

Posted in family, humour, nostalgia | 4 Comments »

Another ‘tall tale’ of a tree.

Posted by Big John on May 23, 2017

This is a picture of a Leylandii which forms part of a hedge in my garden …

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It is about eight feet high and is kept neatly trimmed.

If it wasn’t it would soon look like this 50ft ‘giant’ ..

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… growing in a garden a little way from my house.

“So What ?” … I hear you ask.

Well, usually I am lucky enough to be awakened each morning by the birds singing in my garden, but not today. Instead, this morning, I left my bed to the sound of the screaming buzz of a chainsaw, and on looking out into the street I saw this …

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… and a few yards from my house the men in hard hats and safety harnesses were already hard at work …

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… turning this monster first into this …

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… and then into this …

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Unlike the last tree I wrote about,  I can’t see this one …

…doing a ‘Lazarus’ ! 

Posted in humour | 2 Comments »