bigjohn

There is many a good tune played on an old fiddle.

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  • My Life and Times

    I was born in 1939 BC.
    That’s ‘Before Computers’.

    Luckily I survived the following events in my life, such as

    World War II, The London Blitz, Rationing, and worst of all… Archbishop Temple’s School.

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    During the mid 1950s I was enjoying Rock ‘n’ Roll and being a first generation teenager, when suddenly, just like Elvis, I found myself in uniform during ‘The Cold War’…and then

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    I became ‘a family’. Which meant that I sort of missed the ‘swinging sixties’, but still managed to look a complete prat in the 70s, just like everyone else.

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    During the ‘Thatcher Years’ I lost my hair and a lot of people lost a good deal more. My career fluctuated to say the least as I was demoted, promoted, fired and hired a number of times, but still I managed to stagger on into a welcome retirement and to celebrate 56 years of happy marriage.

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It only needed a soggy selfie.

Posted by Big John on May 4, 2018

From time to time I have written of my encounters with those of us who are totally addicted to their smartphones. Here is the latest …

Yesterday I was sitting in my car, which was parked in a quiet street. The weather was lousy. Heavy rain and a strong blustery wind. I glanced across the road and noticed a rather bedraggled young woman stop opposite my vehicle. She was wearing some sort of ‘hoodie’ and carrying a large bag which hung from one shoulder. She leaned against a fence which was partly sheltered by an overhanging tree. It gave little protection from the cold driving rain.

She opened the bag, and yes, out came a smartphone ! .. Immediately she started texting. She then removed a plastic bottle of orange juice and managed a swig or two whilst still texting. The bottle was returned to the bag and replaced by a large baguette wrapped in aluminium foil. She managed to unwrap this and devour it’s rather ‘messy’ contents as she juggled with her ‘phone, all the time texting. Considering that she was soaked and very much windswept, her dexterity was something to marvel at.

Her soaking al fresco lunch lasted about fifteen minutes and was finished off by her smoking ‘who knows what’, before she walked off, seemingly oblivious to the atrocious weather, and …

…still bloody texting !

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Posted in humour, rant | 1 Comment »

Where’s my invitation ?

Posted by Big John on April 27, 2018

I know that I have not been around much lately, but I know that you will forgive me when you know the reason why I have neglected my blog for the last couple of weeks. I’m sure that you all guessed the reason …

Yes ! .. I have been absorbed with all the wonderful things that have been happening to my favourite family .. the Saxe-Coburg and Gotha gang.

Where do I start ? .. Well, old ‘Phil the Greek’ got a new hip (was it on the NHS ?) … ‘er Maj’ had her first birthday of 2018 (she has another one in June) … another royal brat was born (just what we need) … Pippa (OK ! I know, she’s only a sister-in-law to Willy) got in on the act by joining ‘the pudding club’, as did ‘horsey’ Anne’s daughter Zara… Fergie’s daughter Eugenie got engaged to some rich geezer and her other daughter Beatrice got a proper job… Charlie got a new top job involving lots of expensive travel (which pissed orf  Cruella) … She cheered up when she heard that she will get the title of ‘Queen’ when Charlie gets an even better ‘top job’ … and ‘last but not least’ … all is set for the royal wedding. I can hardly wait ! In fact when I look at the ‘Ginger Whinger’ and his bride to be, I go all ..”sigh”.. (‘hand on heart’)..  ‘touchy-feely’ .. ‘Maw ! Maw ! kissy-kissy’ and ‘huggy-wuggy’ … Now I wonder …

… where I got that from ?

Posted in humour | 4 Comments »

Here we go again – Part Sixteen.

Posted by Big John on April 12, 2018

I see now that ‘The Donald’ has made friends with ‘Little Rocket Man’, he is considering polishing up his missiles and aiming them at “animal” Assad, and, as you would expect, our Prime Minister is going into ‘Joan of Arc’ mode, which means that British armed forces could be involved in yet another messy conflict where, as usual, little thought will be given to planning what comes next !

I’m not saying that President Assad is not capable of killing his own people. Of course he is. However, all wars always produce fake atrocity stories, as well as real ones, and this  propaganda can now be disseminated via You Tube, Twitter, Facebook etc. and in the case of Syria very little news comes out of that country via Western news organisations, and what does usually comes from the rebels.

What will we be seeing next on the TV news channels after the proposed allied retaliation ?  .. The ruins of schools, hospitals, homes and the bodies children. The military call it …

… collateral damage !

Posted in political, rant | 2 Comments »

A HAPPY ‘hot-cross bun’ EASTER.

Posted by Big John on March 28, 2018

I must admit that I was not surprised to read that the wording on the packaging of 90% of Easter eggs on sale this year does not include the word “Easter”.

Yes, once again, it’s those ‘PC’ defenders of those they imagine may be offended by reading the name of a Christian festival on a box containing a traditional treat. Which made me wonder if Muslims, Jews etc. etc. would really want to buy food and other items associated with the Christian religion ? … and then … I read that Sainsbury’s had enquiries about Halal eggs, but I doubt that they will be asked for …

… a Køsher chocolate bunny !

 

Posted in rant, religion | 5 Comments »

“Othello” it ain’t !

Posted by Big John on March 14, 2018

I’m not quite sure why Sir Vince Cable’s latest speech has received so much publicity, for I doubt if  most people in this country are seriously interested in this silly old sod’s opinions on anything: but to brand all the old farts who voted for ‘brexit’ as racists who want to recreate a world where, amongst other things, “faces were white” is disgraceful !

However, I must admit that, in general, I couldn’t care less about what colour someone’s face is, but I am beginning to wonder why so many non-white faces now fill my TV screen ?

I know that we have all got used to seeing those many TV ads showing the “dual heritage” family, and the TV News ‘man in the street’ .. Oops ! Sorry, ‘person in the street’ interviews with one white, one black, one brown interviewee, and almost certainly one wearing a hijab: but why do TV dramas have so many black characters when they are set in localities in this country where, in reality, very few people (if any) from ethnic minorities would be living or working ?

Now BBC TV ..’PC’BC TV’s latest ‘swords and sandals’ epic series .. “Troy: Fall of a City” .. brings us, not only some very dark scenes, but also a number of very dark skinned characters. … Take a look !

OK … The ancient Greeks, including Homer, probably knew something of black Africans, and Memnon’s home was thought to be in the ‘East’, perhaps in ancient Persia. As a consequence, he was thought to have a darker skin colour than the Greeks themselves, but …he definitely was not black ! .. Also it is just ridiculous to show the gods and heroes of ancient Greek mythology and history as African !

So why do it ? … I can take a guess … but, please excuse me if I just say that …

…  “It’s all Greek to me” !

 

Posted in entertainment, History, humour, rant | 2 Comments »

Megan’s ‘mumbo-jumbo’ moment !

Posted by Big John on March 8, 2018

Please remind me … This is the 21st Century isn’t it ?

It’s hard to believe that it is, when you read that someone you thought of as a fairly bright ‘modern day’ young woman who has ‘been round the block’ a few times has been baptised by that hypocritical old cleric Justin Welby, who before he was “called by God” was a highly paid oily oil industry executive. Apparently he used ‘holy water’ from the River Jordan for the baptism.

The River Jordan ! .. I hope that water contained plenty of holy disinfectant.

Now, I may have got this wrong, but isn’t there some Church of England rule about people who live together outside of marriage not being baptised etc., so, to all appearances, the Archbishop of Canterbury has baptised Ms Markle whilst she is still openly ‘shacked-up’ at Kensington Palace with ‘Hooray Harry ?

A royal flunkey has ‘let slip’ that ‘er Maj’ has been overheard saying that …

… “One is most pissed ‘orf ! “

 

Posted in humour, religion | 1 Comment »

This time … real snowflakes !

Posted by Big John on February 28, 2018

For days now we have had countless warnings from the weather ‘experts’ about the “Beast from the East” ! .. In other words freezing weather with heavy snow being blown in all the way from Russia: so it came as no surprise when, yesterday morning, when I went to my street door to pick up my daily newspaper, I looked out, and saw this …

 

… OK ! .. I know that those of you who live in North America and other chilly parts of the world, will not think that this ‘modest’ amount of the ‘white stuff’ is something to get excited about: but here in the UK a couple of inches of snow brings total chaos to most of the country. Airports shut down ! … trains stop running ! … traffic comes to a halt ! … schools close !

Why ? … Gawd only knows ! … but you can be sure that some official idiot from the local highways department or railway operator will appear on TV to advise us that they are well prepared !

Over the years I have travelled in many parts of Europe and the USA, sometimes in appalling weather conditions. I have crossed snow covered mountain ranges, and once drove from Buffalo (NY) to Toronto stopping off at Niagara to watch the ice flows going over the falls. I’ve travelled by train across Switzerland in mid-winter and the trains were always on time. I’ve walked on city streets in other countries without fear of falling on my arse, or worse, because the pavements (sidewalks) have been cleared of ice and snow.

Now we have been warned that the UK will remain in a prolonged period of freezing weather and that “Storm Emma” is on it’s way.

So, are we ready ?  … I very much doubt it ! … but one person may be, because for the last two snowy mornings I’ve been surprised to find my newspaper …

… on the doormat !

Posted in humour, rant, travel, Uncategorized | 2 Comments »

A ‘snowflake’ movie warning !

Posted by Big John on February 16, 2018

I was searching my Sky TV movie guide, when I noticed the 1956 film ‘Safari’ was listed. It starred Victor Mature as a ‘white hunter’, and was set in Kenya during the ‘Mau Mau Uprising’ which was taking place at the time.

Now I know that warnings are often given about films that contain .. ‘violence’ .. ‘sexual themes’ .. strong language .. etc. which I suppose is understandable to some degree: but this movie has warnings for .. “scenes of hunting” .. Blimey ! .. It is about a bloke who earns his living killing wild animals ! .. and .. horror of horrors …

… “colonial attitudes” !

Posted in Uncategorized | 2 Comments »