bigjohn

There is many a good tune played on an old fiddle.

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  • My Life and Times

    I was born in 1939 BC.
    That’s ‘Before Computers’.

    Luckily I survived the following events in my life, such as

    World War II, The London Blitz, Rationing, and worst of all… Archbishop Temple’s School.

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    During the mid 1950s I was enjoying Rock ‘n’ Roll and being a first generation teenager, when suddenly, just like Elvis, I found myself in uniform during ‘The Cold War’…and then

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    I became ‘a family’. Which meant that I sort of missed the ‘swinging sixties’, but still managed to look a complete prat in the 70s, just like everyone else.

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    During the ‘Thatcher Years’ I lost my hair and a lot of people lost a good deal more. My career fluctuated to say the least as I was demoted, promoted, fired and hired a number of times, but still I managed to stagger on into a welcome retirement and to celebrate 56 years of happy marriage.

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Archive for the ‘rant’ Category

A ‘Diverse’ Festive Fantasy.

Posted by Big John on December 11, 2017

You may remember that this is the time of year when I go into “Bah Humbug!” mode, and this year is no exception, although, so far I have not seen that bloody ‘Coca Cola’ convoy on TV, there are plenty of other .. “Oh! Oh! Oh!” .. “Spend ! Spend! Spend!” .. adverts in every commercial break.

This year there seems to be more than a hint of a ‘PC’ element to many of those ‘friends and family gathering’ scenes so loved by the ‘retail giants’ and major supermarkets. You know, the ones showing the latest trend in flashy Christmas trees, fake snow everywhere and a dining tables loaded with food that most people would not dream of eating at any other time of year, or, like some I see seated at these tables, would never eat at any time ! .. for this year, every gathering seems to include not only white, black, brown and yellow people, and, of course, the mixed-race “dual heritage” family; but also women wearing hijabs, a Sikh in a dastaar and a dreadlocked ‘Rasta’, although so far, I have not spotted the yellow robe of a Buddhist monk.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I’m very much in favour of people of different ethnic backgrounds and religions getting together as, perhaps if it happened more often, it would go someway towards bringing about the Christmas message of hope for “Peace on Earth”; but do these ads ‘reflect the norm’ here in the UK ?  …

…. I very much doubt it !

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Posted in humour, rant, religion | 3 Comments »

‘Ginger Whinger’ to Wed !

Posted by Big John on November 27, 2017

Yes, it’s … “Oh! what joy time” again as we learn that ‘Hooray Harry’ is to marry his American girlfriend.

Well, at least she appears to have lived in the ‘real world’ and earned a living as a pretty decent actress, so I’ll tone down my usual ‘royal family’ rant and restrict myself to wondering how she will take to living in a world inhabited by some of the weirdest people you could ever meet ?

I bet that ‘er Maj is, even now, nervously waiting for the right moment to break the news to old ‘Phil the Greek’ that his new granddaughter is …

…   ‘Irish – African American’ !

 

Posted in humour, rant | 2 Comments »

What Next .. The Fourth of July ?

Posted by Big John on November 21, 2017

‘Thanksgiving’ is celebrated every year on the fourth Thursday of November when friends and family come together for a traditional meal.

It’s an American public holiday … IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH US ! … despite all the efforts of those greedy bastards who wish to cash-in ‘big time’, as they have done with bloody ‘Trick or Treat’ and other US traditions. I have even seen it being promoted as  .. ‘Brit-Giving’ !

Blimey ! .. the Pilgrims celebrated their luck at escaping from this country, although later generations of the Native Americans who attended that first feast were not so lucky.

Now, having had my little rant, I would like to say that I’m pleased to know that many British families join in this celebration with their American friends who live in this country. So, I hope that they all have a wonderful time, and wish all my friends and family across ‘the pond’ a very …

HAPPY THANKSGIVING

Posted in family, History, humour, rant | Leave a Comment »

This is far more important than Brexit !

Posted by Big John on November 3, 2017

Let me say straight away that the perpetrators of serious sexual abuse should be exposed and punished; but, having said this, why am I not surprised that after the revelations about the disgusting ‘Hollywood’ goings-on by ‘Weinstein and Co’, we now find ourselves observing the ridiculous spectacle of .. ‘KNEEGATE‘ !

Now I know that our members of parliament are like a string of old Christmas tree lights .. ‘half of them don’t work, and the rest are not too bright’ .. but how, in this ‘touchy-feely’, ‘kissy-kissy’. “Mwa! .. Mwa!” world did they reach the conclusion that a touch on the knee or an inappropriate suggestion warrants so much valuable parliamentary time and such drastic actions ?  It may be unwelcome, unpleasant and deplorable behaviour, but it hardly falls in the category of …

…  ‘sexual abuse’ !

Posted in humour, political, rant | 3 Comments »

So, what’s new ?

Posted by Big John on October 14, 2017

At the present moment it would appear that the House of Commons has more back stabbers than the Roman Senate had on the ‘Ides of March’ !

Brexit negotiations seem to be going ‘nowhere fast’, unless it’s towards the much talked about ‘cliff edge’ (whatever that means ?), as the boys in Brussels and our boys from the Westminster ‘bubble’ agree to disagree.

The NHS, the police, the military and other vital services in the UK are all ‘strapped for cash’, whilst billions of pounds are spent on ‘vanity projects’ thought up by a bunch of self-serving slippery chancers who are still referred to as ‘right honourable’ and ‘honourable’ Members of Parliament.

So, with the state of the country the way it is, and with all the usual death and destruction going on in other parts of the world, what has grabbed the attention of the our media, as President Trump would say, “in a very big way” ? …

…Yes ! .. Of course.. it’s the most ‘powerful’ news on the planet at this time ! It’s the story of the Hollywood antics that no one seems to have heard of before, and features the lascivious and predatory …

Harvey – bloody – Weinstein !  

Posted in entertainment, political, rant | 2 Comments »

Sophie looked nice, and only one medal.

Posted by Big John on October 7, 2017

I have often (perhaps too often ?) had a little rant about ‘er Maj’s sons and how they can’t keep out of the old ‘dressing up box’, but, blimey ! I couldn’t resist another one when I saw this picture of Edward wearing the ‘tropical’ full dress uniform of Commadore of the Royal Fleet Auxiliary.

I suppose that he thought it OK to wear this outfit as RFA vessels do transport Royal Marines to where the action is, and although he has the nerve to wear seven medals, he did only spend a few weeks training as a marine before deciding all that mud, sweat and those big tough men were all too much for him, and so, he dumped his uniform and flounced off to join the ‘luvvies’ of ‘theatre land’ where I am pretty sure he must have ‘rubbed shoulders’ with more than a few gay thespians.

On a more serious note, and bearing these encounters in mind, I have to wonder why ‘H.R.W’ (His Royal Wimpness) agreed to ‘pay homage’ to a serious ‘nasty piece of work’ named Hassanal Bolkiah, the Sultan of Brunei, who is often criticised by human rights campaigners over the country’s strict Islamic laws and lack of democracy, and where homosexuals are …

… hanged or stoned to death ?

Posted in humour, political, rant | 1 Comment »

A double (weirdo) whammy !

Posted by Big John on September 27, 2017

Following on from my last post, I see that Sainsbury’s are planning to ensure that my visits to their store become even more perilous when they equip their ‘supermarket zombie’ customers with an app which will enable them to pay for their groceries etc. and leave the store without passing through the checkouts, thus turning them, also, into ‘smartphone zombies’ ! …

… I can hardly wait !

Posted in humour, rant | 1 Comment »

A peddling ‘plonker’ !

Posted by Big John on September 22, 2017

Today I was returning to my car in Sainsbury’s supermarket car park with a fully loaded trolley (cart) when I encountered a young man on a bicycle who had decided to peddle round and round in a tight circle right in the middle of the footpath. He was wearing a woollen hat pulled down over his ears, although it was a warm sunny day, and seemed completely oblivious to the shoppers who had to make a ‘detour’ around him to avoid a collision as he weaved and wobbled to maintain his balance.

Why was he doing this ? … Yes, you guessed it .. He was just another of those smartphone ‘zombies’ who seem to multiply by the day.

Why ? .. you may ask, didn’t he get off of his bike to use his ‘phone, or at least find a more convenient place to practice his stupid stunt ?

Who knows ? .. Perhaps he was ‘stoned’ ? .. Perhaps he was disabled in some way ? .. Perhaps he was ‘bonkers’ ? .. Perhaps he was posing for a cycling ‘selfie’ ? ..  Most likely he was just in that ubiquitous  …

… texting trance !  

Posted in humour, rant | 3 Comments »