bigjohn

“Old age ain't no place for sissies.” .. Bette Davis

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  • My Life and Times

    I was born in 1939 BC.
    That’s ‘Before Computers’.

    Luckily I survived the following events in my life, such as

    World War II, The London Blitz, Rationing, and worst of all… Archbishop Temple’s School.

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    During the mid 1950s I was enjoying Rock ‘n’ Roll and being a first generation teenager, when suddenly, just like Elvis, I found myself in uniform during ‘The Cold War’…and then

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    I became ‘a family’. Which meant that I sort of missed the ‘swinging sixties’, but still managed to look a complete prat in the 70s, just like everyone else.

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    During the ‘Thatcher Years’ I lost my hair and a lot of people lost a good deal more. My career fluctuated to say the least as I was demoted, promoted, fired and hired a number of times, but still I managed to stagger on into a welcome retirement and to celebrate 56 years of happy marriage.

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Archive for the ‘rant’ Category

What will she show us next ?

Posted by Big John on May 13, 2019

I’m sorry that I have not been blogging recently, but I’m sure that you will understand when I tell you that I have been absorbed, as has the rest of the world, with the arrival of the latest addition to ‘er Maj’s motley mob.

All that .. Hand on bump and .. “When will she?” .. “Where will she?”  .. and .. Pink or blue booties ? .. I couldn’t sleep for worrying about such a momentous event.

However, we can now answer the last question … It’s NO little booties ! .. How do we know this ? .. Well, can you believe that, Archie’s little feet are now front page NEWS

What I can’t understand is why they have named him ‘Archie’.  I don’t like it ! Therefore, I have decided to refer to this Anglo-American infant by a combination of both his mother’s and father’s family names, i.e .. ‘Win’ from “Windsor” and ‘kle’ from “Merkle”. To me he will always be known as little “Prince” …

…. “Winkle” !

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Posted in humour, rant | 2 Comments »

More hypocritical Harry !

Posted by Big John on April 5, 2019

Talk about … “You couldn’t make it up!” … for, it seems that, ‘The Ginger Whinger of Windsor’.. AKA .. HRH Prince Harry, fears that … “Growing up in today’s world, social media is more addictive than drugs and alcohol”.

‘Nothing wrong with that’ … I hear you say … ‘it’s probably true’ ! .. and, for once, I have to agree with HRH (His Royal Hairyness).

However, he just happened to say this around the same time that he and ‘Me-Me’-Meghan took a break from all those ‘touchy-feely’ photo-ops to launch …”sussexroyal” … on … ‘Instagram’ !

I guess that they must have recovered from their previous trauma caused by all that …

… “public and press intrusion” !  

Posted in humour, rant | 3 Comments »

Democracy ? … Guess what !

Posted by Big John on March 29, 2019

Today was the day when the UK was to leave the EU, and ….

…   We bloody well didn’t !

Why ? … Because those arse … people who were elected to parliament to represent and carry out the will of the British people …

…  ‘bloody well didn’t’ !

Posted in political, rant | 3 Comments »

Too much too soon !

Posted by Big John on February 27, 2019

According to press reports …”Primary school children from the age of five are to be taught about gay and transgender relationships as part of compulsory lessons,” .. and .. “children as young as four will be taught about relationships, staying safe online and the link between physical and mental health.”

Well, good luck with that ! ..

… I’ve been around for a very long time and I’m still confused, despite the fact that I had a bi-sexual aunt, a transvestite workmate, a rather ‘camp’ lesb .. thespian neighbour, a ‘flirty’ Flight Sergeant, and, long before homosexuality was made legal in the UK, I knew one or two of the ‘usual suspects’ when they ventured out of their ‘closets’. Blimey ! I even remember when the word ‘gay’ had a very different meaning.

Now, as I have previously stated … “I couldn’t care less if someone is gay, straight, bi-sexual and all the rest, so long as they do no harm to others and “don’t frighten the horses”.

However, I have to wonder how a teacher explains about ‘LGBTI’ and all that .. ‘gender fluidity’ .. ‘male/female binary’ ..’gender self-identification’ .. and the rest to young children who cannot possibly understand such a complicated subject; and, more importantly, at that tender age, …

… do they really need to know about it ? 

Posted in family, humour, nostalgia, rant | 4 Comments »

“On the fritz” and freezing !

Posted by Big John on February 4, 2019

It’s the middle of winter … It’s below zero and freezing outside … It’s Sunday night … It’s the coldest night of the year … I’m tired and I want to go to bed …  I switch the central heating to 24hrs … AND … Guess what ?

… Nothing ! …. IT’S NOT BLOODY WORKING !

It’s that time of year once again ! … Recently I have replaced …

  •  A fridge/freezer as the ice in the frost free section could have sunk ‘The Titanic’.
  •  An ‘all-in-one’ printer, which turned into a colour free paper shredder.
  •  An electric fan heater which decided that it was summer.
  •  Some ‘bits’ (don’t ask) for my car’s engine, after it’s annual MOT test.

… and, as you would expect, a number of those stupid sodding light bulbs which we were promised would “last a lifetime” by that bunch of slippery chancers who, at present, are screwing up ‘Brexit’ !

I have to leave this little rant here for the present, as it is now Monday morning and I have just looked out of the window and “Hooray!” I can see … “Is it a bird? Is it a plane?” … No! .. It’s Kevin the heating engineer from …

… ‘British Gas’ !

Posted in humour, rant | Leave a Comment »

“It’s the thought that counts” !

Posted by Big John on January 29, 2019

In a couple of weeks I will reach the ‘Big 80!’, and to mark this momentous occasion I have just received a letter from The Pension Service informing me … “Now that you are approaching 80, you are entitled to a higher amount of State Pension”.

What a pleasant surprise !  … “Every little helps” … as the old lady said when she peed in the sea.

Then I read on; only to discover that this old pensionista shouldn’t get too excited about that “higher amount” because … “Age Addition of 25p per week will be payable from your 80th Birthday”.

Wow ! … 25pence a week ! .. Yes, that’s a whole £1 ($1,30) per month ! …

‘Poundland’ here I come !

Posted in humour, rant | 2 Comments »

“Sacré Bleu ! … Nobody sings.”

Posted by Big John on January 10, 2019

I must say that, so far, I have enjoyed watching the BBC’s production of “Les Misérables”, for as far as I can tell, it’s faithful to Victor Hugo’s epic tale of injustice in France after Napoleon’s defeat at Waterloo. It’s well-made and not been ‘sexed up’ or stylised to appeal to a modern audience, apart from Lilly Collins’ eyebrows, a black Inspector Javert and an Asian Thénardier .. (Voici)

Now I’m not too bothered about a pretty woman’s eyebrows or the colour of an actor’s skin; but the one thing that irritates me about this production is, just like the above “Voici”, it includes bits of the French language in the English dialogue. Such as .. “Merci monsieur” instead of “Thank you sir”. It reminds me of those old war movies, when English speaking actors playing German soldiers always obeyed a command given in English with the words .. “Jawohl, mein Kapitan“. In fact, in some crowd scenes the people in the background, such as the prison guards or local paysans, are actually speaking French ! …

…  Pourquoi ? 

Posted in entertainment, humour, rant | 2 Comments »

I told you so !

Posted by Big John on December 11, 2018

In my post of 13th June 2017, I referred to Mrs. May as .. “one of the weakest prime ministers ever” … and one …  “who is about to start Brexit negotiations with the EU. Something which she wasn’t in favour of in the first place”  .. I then asked the question .. “What could possibly go wrong ?”

Well … Now we know !  … Chaos ! … with a capital ‘K’, brought about by “that bunch of self-serving hypocritical slippery chancers” at Westminster and a prime minister who, behind the scenes, was as keen to do the best deal for the British people as George Armstrong Custer was to make peace at…

… ‘The Little Big Horn’ !

Posted in History, humour, political, rant | 1 Comment »