Too many toasted ‘tats’.
Posted by Big John on July 26, 2012
School’s out and so is the sun with the temperature rising towards 90 degrees today. This means that every shopping mall and supermarket is full of screaming brats and half naked bodies. Not that I’m averse to half naked bodies (or completely naked ones come to that) provided that they come in the form of Elle Macpherson !
Unfortunately when I visited Sainsbury’s today Elle was nowhere to be seen, although acres of bare flesh was on display, most of it bulging out of skimpy shorts or too tight ‘boob tubes’ and much of it covered in sunburned tattoos. Peeling pink skin really sets off that cross-eyed dragon with it’s tongue hanging out. Especially when it is on the upper arm of some woman who has been on a Sumo wrestler’s diet. Not too long ago such women were only to be found in Circus sideshows. Now we can all see them for free !
Glowing red skin was also visible on the skinny torsos of
macho pimply young men dressed only in surfers’ baggies (not a surfboard in sight), and on the legs of old gits wearing our national summer dress of socks and sandals.
Somehow many Brits don’t seem to have understood the dire warnings about what can happen if you don’t slap on the old sunblock. Blimey ! … You can even buy a sunscreen to save your tattoos from fading. Umm … Perhaps that’s not such a good idea.
Protecting yourself from the sun’s rays can be quite expensive, as most of the creams and lotions on the supermarket shelves cost more than a half decent bottle of wine. Ah! .. Now there is a good reason to sit in the shade …
… Pass the corkscrew !