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Aisles of the living dead.

Posted by Big John on January 11, 2012

It’s been some time since I met a true Sainsbury’s ‘zombie’, although once it used to happen on a fairly regular basis.

When I say ‘zombie’ I don’t just mean those who wander the supermarket aisles in a bit of a daze, or guide their trollies (carts) on auto-pilot, but those who have been completely taken over by some weird force and are bereft of consciousness and self-awareness, yet ambulant and able to respond to some degree to surrounding stimuli.

I met such a one this morning when I was unloading the items from my very full trolley onto the checkout conveyer. I turned away for a second, and when I turned back to reach for a plump free range chicken … It was gone ! … and so was my bleedn’ trolley !

Yes, there ‘it’ was pushing my half full cart towards an empty checkout halfway up the store. I caught up with what had the appearance of a woman ….

“Excuse me” .. I said .. “but that’s my trolley you have there”..

She turned her eyes towards me, and I could see that “the lights were on but there was no one at home”.

“Can I have my trolley back ?” I asked.

The creature replied … “I am using it”.

“I’m sorry, but it’s half full of my shopping” I said as I gently removed the handle of the cart from her grasp.

She stood in the aisle with a vacant look on her face as I returned to my place at the checkout.

Perhaps I should have asked her if she needed a voodoo priest, or perhaps, before I regained my trolley, I should have just …

 …  let her pay for the goods.    😉


6 Responses to “Aisles of the living dead.”

  1. Sounds as though your best course of action would have been to let her pay and then repossess the goods. Recently, I stopped an elderly gal who had neglected to take a bag of groceries out of her discarded cart before heading for the exit. She responded by telling me she really needed the items to make the evening meal, and went into great detail about what would be served. Then, as an afterthought, she said, “Thank you.”

    If her menu had been better, I might have been tempted to keep the abandoned groceries!

  2. I have never had my trolley hijacked but I will take precautions in future. The main problem with negotiating Sainsbury’s or any crowded place comes from the fact that people are so spacially unaware. They stop in the narrowest part of the aisle, completely blocking it, while studying their shopping list or daydreaming, and seem genuinely shocked to be asked to move out of the way.

    The worst zombies are arguably people walking along looking at their mobile phones. They weave about making it hard to overtake them or crash into you when coming towards you. They do occasionally provide light relief when one of them walks into a lamppost.

  3. creepylesbo said

    Maybe she’s another fine example of care in the community!

  4. Grannymar said

    My main problems with supermarkets are people who charge forward into my ankles with their trolleys, without looking where they are going, and those ignorant people who stop for a chat in the most awkward narrow spaces.

    Mind you the latter is becoming a thing of the past…. since money went AWOL, the merchandise has reduced and to cover this fact the shelving is spaced further apart.

  5. Rummuser said

    Be a little generous John. May be she was just fractured out of her skull! AND looking for the wine racks.

  6. Ginnie said

    I think you attract more than your share of these oddities. Maybe because it makes such good blogging material !

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