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“Hi ! Is me wot u doing ?”

Posted by Big John on June 6, 2011

The other day I called in at my local pub for lunch. I don’t do this very often as it is one of those “family friendly” places with signs outside proclaiming … “Kids eat for £1” etc. Still the food and wine are good value for money even if the dishes are not exactly ‘cordon bleu’, and when the little angels are in school it’s not a bad place to relax for an hour or two and observe some of the more exotic types who frequent this establishment.

Now I use the word “exotic” with good reason, for this pub does seem to attract a number of the ‘bling’ and tattoo brigade, not to mention one or two who are probably from the local branch of “care in the community”; and this day was no exception; for sitting at the next table was a young woman who looked like she was a refugee from the top trash TV show ‘The Only Way is Essex’, ( Yes, this is BAFTA winning entertainment ! ), complete with orange skin, someone else’s hair and lips like a bouncy castle. Next to her sat a teenage clone, although she did appear to have her own hair, but was wearing slightly fewer clothes. Both were clutching mobile (cell) phones and both were frantically texting.

The older woman switched from texting to ‘live’ calling while the younger one continued to jab away at her keypad which must have been difficult considering the length of her glittering false fingernails. They continued with this activety all through lunch, and I never once saw them speak to each other.

I say “all through lunch”, but for them lunch was a bit of a nonevent, for despite the fact that they had ordered starters, huge main meals and several side orders, most of it was cleared away without being touched. What on earth could be so important that it prevented them from putting down their phones and picking up their knives and forks ? … The latest ‘celeb’ news ? … The X Factor winner ? … Where to get a ‘vajazzle‘ ? .. or .. Perhaps they were just on …

…  the latest ‘BlackBerry’ diet ?


6 Responses to ““Hi ! Is me wot u doing ?””

  1. Ginnie said

    I used to think that wierdos like you write about were from a different planet … now they are so prevalent that I think I am the one who doesn’t fit in. I saw an interview of Lady Gaga recently and if that’s what our world wants to emmulate then all I can say is “no wonder this world is in a mess !”

  2. Grannymar said

    ‘bouncy castle lips’ I love it!

  3. Classof65 said

    I saw a Lady Gaga interview on “60 Minutes” just yesterday. They should have played more of her music so that I could actually make a judgment regarding her singing talent. It did look as though she could play the piano well, but they played so little of her music that I couldn’t decide. The other stuff — it’s so stupid and fake. She’s probably already made millions with that crap and she’s laughing all the way to the bank!

    As for the mobiles — I absolutely hate talking on the phone! It must be because I had to do so much of it when I still worked. And I hate those tiny buttons on telephones today. My hands have a tremor at times, so it’s very difficult to dial, let alone try to text. It’s annoying to me to have people around me talking on the phone in a store or restaurant. I don’t want to know their private life and wish they would KEEP it private…

  4. Dick Klade said

    I believe we saw the American cousins of the two lunching women yesterday. The only difference was they consumed every morsel of the food between punches on the keyboards. It was a sorry spectable, indeed.

  5. Dick Klade said

    Oops. . . spectacle. Must have been something wrong with mine when I proofed it.

  6. Rummuser said

    Could well have been mother and daughter. I see this phenomenon all the time here too. Sad really.

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