“Hi ! Is me wot u doing ?”
Posted by Big John on June 6, 2011
The other day I called in at my local pub for lunch. I don’t do this very often as it is one of those “family friendly” places with signs outside proclaiming … “Kids eat for £1” etc. Still the food and wine are good value for money even if the dishes are not exactly ‘cordon bleu’, and when the little angels are in school it’s not a bad place to relax for an hour or two and observe some of the more exotic types who frequent this establishment.
Now I use the word “exotic” with good reason, for this pub does seem to attract a number of the ‘bling’ and tattoo brigade, not to mention one or two who are probably from the local branch of “care in the community”; and this day was no exception; for sitting at the next table was a young woman who looked like she was a refugee from the top trash TV show ‘The Only Way is Essex’, ( Yes, this is BAFTA winning entertainment ! ), complete with orange skin, someone else’s hair and lips like a bouncy castle. Next to her sat a teenage clone, although she did appear to have her own hair, but was wearing slightly fewer clothes. Both were clutching mobile (cell) phones and both were frantically texting.
The older woman switched from texting to ‘live’ calling while the younger one continued to jab away at her keypad which must have been difficult considering the length of her glittering false fingernails. They continued with this activety all through lunch, and I never once saw them speak to each other.
I say “all through lunch”, but for them lunch was a bit of a nonevent, for despite the fact that they had ordered starters, huge main meals and several side orders, most of it was cleared away without being touched. What on earth could be so important that it prevented them from putting down their phones and picking up their knives and forks ? … The latest ‘celeb’ news ? … The X Factor winner ? … Where to get a ‘vajazzle‘ ? .. or .. Perhaps they were just on …
… the latest ‘BlackBerry’ diet ?