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If you can’t zap it, then slap it !

Posted by Big John on July 31, 2007

Unlike in the USA you do not see many houses in this country with screen doors or netting on their windows to keep out the bugs. I suppose that is because we just do not have that many flying insects and most of those we do have are pretty harmless.

Whenever I travel outside the UK I immediatley become a blood bank for every buzzing biting little bugger in the neighbourhood. I have been bitten in some very strange places, both anatomically and geographically.

I’ve tried every gadget and repellant under the sun, but the crafty little sods still seem to zero in on me like ‘kamikaze’ pilots. I’m sure that there is some sort of early warning system to let every tiny ‘mossie’ in Europe know when I leave these shores.

This summer I have even been attacked a number of times in my own garden, and have been reading that Britain’s climate is now proving the perfect breeding ground for mosquitoes due to the wettest summer weather on record and the heat normally experienced during the months of June, July and August.

Something else has happened this summer which has done the mosquito a big favour … the ‘smoking ban’ … for now pubs are providing comfortable outdoor smoking areas complete with patio heaters which are attracting the insects because they just love the carbon dioxide which these heaters produce. This gives a whole new meaning to … “Let’s pop down to the pub for a ‘bite’ and a pint”.  

Apparently mosquitoes found in this country are not known to be carriers of malaria, but there is one breed of mosquito called the Asia Tiger which carries a lot of diseases and is spreading through Europe. Let’s hope that nobody tells the bloody thing …

…  where I live !


6 Responses to “If you can’t zap it, then slap it !”

  1. Ginnie said

    Ugh……I hate those biting insects. Just recently I read that if you pinned one of those paper fabric softeners to your clothes (the ones that come in a flat box and you add to the dryer with your clothes) that it would help. I tried it and was amazed to see that it seemed to work…for a little bit anyway.

  2. briggy said

    john… i think i see an asian mosquitoe with your name on it!

  3. Jackshian said

    The wife studied Aromatherapy for a few years and she can mix you a potion that is almost guaranteed to keep the bugs away, John.

    specific amounts of .. Citronella / Cedar / Almond oil.

    No bites, but you smell like a polecat .. everything stays away!

  4. gawilli said

    Bad news for you. We have been dealing with the buggers forever. Now they carry West Nile Virus and we have to be doubly careful. I’d try the dryer sheet. What have you got to lose? Heck I have walked around with them stuck up my sleeve all day some days and didn’t even know they were there!

  5. Red Baron said

    Little swines, I hate them. I got savaged by a particularly greedy one at the weekend after a rather good party. The little bollocks kept buzzing past my ear.

    However the ones I hate the most are the horse flies. I don’t know if I’m allergic to the bite or what but I get a huge solid lump for days afterwards hurts like buggery, (well, not literally like buggery but you get the idea!)

    I don’t know what the West Nile virus is but I’m quite sure my life is more comfortable without it being here to worry about!

  6. Libertine said

    They’ve got mosquitoes over here big enough to throw a saddle on and ride to town…

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