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Retail wretchedness.

Posted by Big John on May 24, 2007

I hate shopping ! … I don’t mean the weekly trip around Sainsbury’s as I do that on autopilot. I mean those … “I need a new dress and shoes” …  expeditions.

In the old days when my wife would look for clothes in high street shops it wasn’t too bad, for I knew that she would be in the changing room for ‘hours’ and I could nip along the road to the nearest pub for a pint: after which I could return to the store, knowing that her selections would all fit her perfectly.

Today parking in town centres is a bloody nightmare, so it’s off to one of those out of town shopping malls. It doesn’t matter which one as they are all the same, and there is not a pub in sight: just ‘Starbucks’ or ‘Costa’, and although a fancy coffee costs nearly as much as a pint, I prefer my ‘froth’ on top of a nice cold beer.

Now I have to hang around outside the changing rooms and lurk amongst the displays of  ladies undies, trying not to look like a pervert, as I await that … “Does my bum look big in this?” … moment. Well several such ‘moments’ actually.

I have to give my wife her due as she hates this ritual just as much as I do, which is unusual as most women seem to enjoy the … ‘shop ’til you drop’ … experience. In fact on our recent cruise, shopping seemed to be the big pleasure for many ladies who were thrilled to discover branches of Marks and Spencer and C & A in many of our ports of call.

I know people who look forward to a … “nice day out at the shops” … and actually enjoy those ‘plastic’ sandwiches and expensive pots of tea as they sit in an uncomfortable crowded cafe in some noisey atrium being serenaded by that awful ‘mall music’.

I can sense a … “summer skirt” … moment approaching.

Pass the catalogue and …

… “Yes Dear, you can order on line”.


3 Responses to “Retail wretchedness.”

  1. Jackshian said

    My wife had a driving licence when I met her and I’ve always made sure that she has her own car .. problem solved. The financial cost of a second car is far outweighed by the contentment and harmony that it brings us/me.

    Men were not designed to go clothes shopping with women, end of story, period.

  2. Betty said

    I don’t like to shop, either. But, I do like to order on-line.

  3. Terri said

    Add me to the minority of women who doesn’t enjoy shopping in malls.
    BUT…catalogue shopping! Oh yeah…in the comfort of my home, in my jammies, sipping coffee, I’ve just about outfitted the entire rental home we just purchased. Dishes, bedding, cookware, lamps, etc. Bring on Internet shopping, I say.

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