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Every kid needs one.

Posted by Big John on March 28, 2007

Following on from my previous post about ‘the perils of playtime’, I could hardly believe my eyes when I picked up today’s paper and read that, not content with wrapping their children in cotton-wool, some parents are now kitting their kids out in body armour !

I know that around here when the ‘school run’ takes place every day, a number of the vehicles taking part resemble 4×4 ‘battle wagons’ in a military convoy, so I can soon expect to see their passengers looking like a bunch of squaddies on the streets of Basra. Although from what I have seen of some of these ‘karate kicking’ kids, it’s the teachers who may need the protection.

OK, I know that knife crime is a serious issue, and in some areas young people may be in some danger, but this rush to dress ‘little Jimmy’ in protective clothing seems just a little bit ‘over the top’ to me, for I envisage the stab-vest becoming a playground ‘status symbol’ as was the mobile telephone, which most children now seem to clutch in their hands so that they can contact ‘mummy’ in an emergency or more likely use for a session of ‘happy slapping’. 

So what next for the ‘little angels’ who are driven to the school gates dressed in their stab-vests and clutching their mobile phones ? … What more can these overanxious parents do to protect their offspring ?

Well, how about equipping classrooms with very large school desks which can be hired by parents to accommodate their rented …

… bloody big ! … brawny ! … bad ! … bald ! … black ! … Bluetoothed ! …  bodyguard ? 


3 Responses to “Every kid needs one.”

  1. Jackshian said

    Think this might be another case of media hype /invention / scaremongering, John.

    I sometimes wonder how many companies, and other stuff, Rupert Murdoch is involved in .. obviously he now owns shares in Burtons and ‘other reputable tailors’, maybe even Primark, as ‘off the peg’ body armour must be a lot cheaper.

  2. Ginnie said

    It’s stuff like this that makes me look back and wonder how we got where we are??? I know there’s a “generation gap”…but this is unreal.

  3. Betty said

    Body armour? Well, that’ll give the right-wing wackos another excuse for home-schooling.

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