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Hide it in your sock, Jock.

Posted by Big John on March 19, 2007

You may recall from a previous post that I have booked a spring cruise for my wife and myself. We are due to depart at the end of next month and today our ‘holiday pack’ arrived from the cruise line.

The rather ‘posh’ looking wallet contains the usual tickets, luggage labels etc. and a bit more information about that all important ‘dress code’, which includes one piece of information which I find hilarious. It reads as follows …

‘Passengers wishing to wear full Scottish dress on formal evenings are advised that they must pack their ‘Dirk’ in their hand luggage. This will be collected from them by Security before boarding the vessel and a receipt will be given. The Security Officer will then keep all ‘Dirks’ when not being worn.’

I have a vision of a number of kilted Scottish gentlemen, who have had a ‘dram’ or two too many, doing a ‘Mel Gibson’ by displaying their bare arses and crying … “Freedom !” … as some hapless security officer tries to disarm them at the end of the day.

I wonder if the rest of the passengers will be searched as they leave the restaurant after dinner, in case one of them …

…    is carrying a concealed butter knife ?


6 Responses to “Hide it in your sock, Jock.”

  1. gawilli said

    Ok, so I had to Google “Dirk”. I wondered what else they could have that would need to be checked in. Ha! St. Patrick’s Day we had the occasion to celebrate in a Pub in Louisville, KY. It was hilarious to see one of the senior ladies lift the kilt of a waiter to see what he might be concealing underneath! We asked her if he wore boxers, or briefs…but she promised not to tell! Hope your cruise is wonderful. Oh, and stay away from the butter knives.

  2. Aren’t the Scots a warlike race! Carrying Dirks and such like with them wherever they go.

  3. Big John said

    ‘Warlike race’ Humorousarts. I wonder where Tony Blair keeps his Dirk ?

  4. Teuchter said

    In Scotland this decorative/ceremonial knife is known as a Sgian Dhu – pronounced skeen doo, which conjures up a mental image of pigeons taking part in the winter olympics.

    Enjoy the cruise.

  5. Big John said

    Thanks for the comment Teuchter. I had heard the name ‘Sgian Dubh’ before, but thought that it was Irish (Gaelic?). I bet even a pigeon would do better than our lot in the winter olympics. 🙂

  6. Terri said

    You’re too funny.
    Here’s wishing you a great cruise and holiday, but where are you cruising to?

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