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‘No Sale !’

Posted by Big John on December 29, 2006

What is the worst sort of torture that I could suffer ?

The rack ? … Thumbscrews ? … The iron maiden ? … or having my naughty bits wired up to the electricity supply ?

Well I think that I would prefer to endure any of those (Umm!  Maybe not the last one) rather than be forced to spend a day in the pure hell of …


Why on earth do people put themselves through such an ordeal ? I’ve even seen masochists being interviewed on the TV news, saying what fun it was to start queueing outside a store at 3 a.m. so that they could buy that half price purple and pink leather sofa that the store had been stuck with for the past year.

I’m sure that most normal people would not dream of purchasing many of the items which they rush to buy; but they seem to take leave of their senses when they see those magic … ‘Massive Discounts !’ … ‘Only While Stocks Last !’ … ‘50% Off Everthing !’ … signs.  Blimey ! They are even prepared to tear each other apart to get at them.

I hate today’s gleaming shopping centres at the best of times, and not even the promise of a reserved place in their 13,000 space car park, a police escort through the endless traffic jams and a free lunch at ‘Yo! Sushi’, would entice me to join in the Bluewater ‘blitzkrieg’, in order to buy a load of crap which has been shipped all the way from bloody China especially to boost the income of the UK’s retail ‘giants’ at this time of year.

I know that it’s nice to find a genuine bargain, but I much prefer to ‘shop around’ on the internet for mine and avoid risking life and limb by joining  …

…     the misery and mayhem on the malls !


4 Responses to “‘No Sale !’”

  1. Ginnie said

    “Naughty bits” zapped with electricity?? OUCH. I may be female but even I can cringe at that. You’d better stay home and let the crazies do the shopping…that’s what I’m doing.
    PS: aren’t you glad you are still blogging…so you can get stuff like this off your chest?

  2. Betty said

    I couldn’t agree with you more. I avoid the malls and Wal-Mart like the plague all year, why would I want to shop there at the holidays?

  3. Terri said

    First off….I wasn’t able to post on your previous entry. The little boxy thing wasn’t there….So….I agree with everyone else! Please don’t stop blogging. I so enjoy coming here for your insight and wit. We’ll let you cut back a little, if you must. But quit? Never!
    And I so agree on these sales and shopping….I also do the bulk of my shopping on the Internet…it’s worth the extra postage to me to simply open my door to the UPS guy and get my purchase rather than fight for parking and brave the crowds.
    Here’s wishing you a very Happy New Year, John….and most of all, keep blogging!

  4. Rhea said

    As a kid I had my fill of malls. As an adult I hardly ever go to them. Luckily I live in a city (Boston), so I don’t need to depend on malls.

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