When will Willy wed ?
Posted by Big John on November 18, 2006
I hope that you are all getting ready to rush down to ‘Woolies’ to buy your royal wedding souvenirs once they go on sale.
I can hardly wait. In fact I will be first in the queue outside my local store after elbowing all the other silly old sods out of the way.
I don’t know whether to buy a mouse mat or a mug. Everything is so tasteful, especially the Will and Kate-shaped pick and mix sweets. I really must get some of those, even if they do make me sick. Which reminds me; don’t you just love that plate with the picture on it of Willy about to throw up and a gormless looking Katie being smacked in the side of the head with a large birds’ nest.
While I’m in the store I must look for something suitable to send to the happy pair as a wedding present, for I know that lots of my old fart friends will be spending their pension money on gifts to help the couple set up home together. Well newlyweds can’t have enough towels and knitted toilet roll covers can they ?
When the time comes I must remember to send a card, as it’s always nice to have something to put on the mantelpiece; or perhaps I’ll join all the other thousands of
loonies loyal oldies and take a few flowers along on the day.
The old Saxe-Coberg-Gotha family does love a ‘bit of a do’ when it comes to a wedding. Well why shouldn’t they? If they can’t afford it, I’m sure that we would all be prepared to chip in a few quid to help pay for the beer and sandwiches. After all they’ve never been too proud to accept our money in the past.
I’m sure that any day now we will hear the wonderful news about other royal wedding plans. Yes, I mean the luvverly ‘Chels’ and ‘The Ginger Spare’ …
….. Now that should be a ‘right royal’ piss-up.