Spells in the cells.

I see that there are around 300 Pagans serving sentences in British prisons at the moment who, according to the rules, have the same rights as the followers of other religions. They are allowed to have in their cells hoodless robes, rune stones and twigs to be used as magic wands. Pagan chaplains (No I’m not making this up) can offer bedside healing rituals, meditation and special prayers to sick prisoners and may also bring in healing stones and small statues of gods and goddesses to place beside the prisoners’ beds. 

This latest example of religious tolerance reminds me of when I was training at an RAF camp in the late 50’s where it was the rule that all recruits attended church parade every Sunday. That is if you were a Christian and a member of one of the main churches in this country. Everyone else was classed as an ‘OD’ or ‘other denomination’ and did not have to parade.

Now in those days Muslims and Hindus were ‘a bit thin on the ground’ in the UK, and Buddhists were almost non-existent, except for one lad in my billet who shaved his head, sat cross-legged on his bed and claimed that he followed some old geezer called ‘Zen’. He was excused church parade (and eventually taken away) as were some others who claimed to be followers of various exotic eastern religions. There were also worshippers of Odin and Mithras and of course a few genuine agnostics and atheists.

Of course the NCO’s in charge of our training knew that most of the ‘OD’s’ were just ’taking the piss’ in the hope that they would be able to spend Sunday morning in bed while everyone else was being marched off to church. Sadly this was not to be, and the alternative day of military ‘meditation’ arranged for them caused most of them to undergo a miraculous conversion to Christianity the following Sunday.

Now I’m sure that there are a few genuine wand wavers in jail, but I bet most are like those ‘OD’s’ and are  …

…      just piss taking ‘Pagans’.

Well he was Deputy PIEminister.

Eating disorders are no joke, but I had to laugh when I read that John Prescott had said that he suffered from bulimia, when only recently it was revealed that he claimed £4,000 for food on his expenses as an MP.

Now this self obsessed and self serving politician has come up with this load of old cobblers as a clever way of publicising his memoirs.

I hate to say it, but I did have a sneaking admiration for ’Prezza’, for not many people can come from such humble beginnings and reach one of the highest offices in the land. Unfortunately he seemed to have lost sight of his ‘grass roots’ somewhere along the way to becoming Deputy Prime Minister, and ended up as a much ridiculed member of ‘the establishment’.

Let us hope that all this publicity will help people who suffer from such eating disorders, but I think that old ‘Two Jags’ has got confused between having his head over the toilet bowl and …

…   having his ’snout in the trough’ .

… and still it goes on …

 ’The General’ by Siegfried Sassoon.

Now that the tide has turned.

During the night of 31st January 1953 a huge tidal surge devastated large areas of the east coast of Britain with the loss of around 300 lives.

One town badly hit by flooding was the place where I now live, Whitstable on the north east coast of Kent.

Well last night we were warned to expect a tidal surge of up to three metres coinciding with peak high tides, which would be comparable to the conditions of 1953. 

Luckily the forecasters were wrong … but only just …

… This is a photograph of the beach a few hundred yards from my home, taken at high tide at mid-day today. Not the place to hang around with an ‘Arctic’ wind blowing off the North Sea.

It would seem that there was localised flooding in some areas, but nothing too serious.

I’m just waiting for some prat to … 

…     blame it all on ’global warming’.   

A perception of poverty.

I recently read a report that stated that many children today consider it a sign of poverty for another child not to have a mobile phone.

Unlike most of today’s children many working class people of my generation will have seen or experienced real child poverty, so I suppose that we must consider it progress when the lack of a mobile phone is seen as a sign of ’poverty’, and not the sight of young legs deformed by rickets: but I can’t help wondering from where do these children acquire such values ?

I suppose that it would come as quite a shock to these kids to know that when I was a child there were no cell phones and the nearest public telephone was on the counter of our local off-licence (liquor store) two streets from my home.

The telephone in question was one of those ’stand’ types with a separate earpiece at the end of a cord. I can’t remember where the nearest red public phone box was in relation to my home, and in any case I wouldn’t have spent my few pennies of pocket money or wasted my time on making phone calls; unlike the kids I see everyday with their ’Nokia’ pressed against their ear as they chatter on about such important matters as their latest video game or favourite ‘gangsta’ rapper.

At that time no one I knew had a telephone, and I can’t even remember using one until I started work in 1955 at the age of sixteen.

No cell phone, no ‘iPod’, no TV, no ‘X box’ ! … What would today’s youngsters have made of my childhood ? I suppose they would consider me to have been destitute; but at least I was safe from  …

…  being mugged on my way home from school.

Silly me !

Fancy posting about gambling and casinos (‘It’s a mug’s game’) when my ‘Akismet’ is set to cut out ’spam’ relating to those very subjects.

Sorry … ‘Red Baron’ (Twice) … ‘Longrider’ … ‘Chris’ … and … Ferouzeh (not about gambling, but about naughty bits in films) … and thanks for those comments. You were all held ‘awaiting moderation’.

Anyone who thinks that their comments may have been deleted  …

…  PLEASE try again.

Whatever happened to ‘common sense’ ?

I get the impression these days that when people are trained to do certain jobs, much time is spent on teaching them about such things as … ‘diversity’ … ‘health and safety’ … ‘human rights’ … ‘political correctness’ … and, it would seem, how to behave like complete prats when dealing with the general public.

It is well known that some ’jobsworths’ such as traffic wardens have to undergo some sort of ‘lobotomy’ before they are issued with their uniforms and let loose on our streets, and that many staff in town halls across the country are sent on special ‘how to be an officious arsehole’ courses.

This week I have read three news stories which lead me to believe that there is now a new breed of ‘little Hitler’ abroad …

Man of 64 arrested after diving into swimming pool.

Two year old ‘hoodie’ banned from store. 

Pensioner 87 asked for proof that he was over twentyone. 

I know that these stories are hard to believe, and perhaps I am over exaggerating when I use the name ‘Hitler’, but wasn’t it his followers who always claimed that they …

…  “were only obeying orders”.

Sick souvenirs.

Having got over the shock of seeing the gruesome pictures of Saddam’s execution in my morning newspaper and then again on the TV news, I noted the old fashioned ‘hangman’s knot’ used and was reminded of the saying … ‘Money for old rope’.

This saying originates from the days of public executions when executioners used to make a bit of extra cash by cutting up the rope used to hang a notorious criminal and selling it to the crowds as a memento of the event. The hangmen would usually cut the rope into short lengths of two or three inches, and very often would increase their income by cutting up any old rope after the actual execution rope was used up.

Well it seems that nothing changes in this sad old world, for it would appear that pieces of the ’genuine’ execution rope from Iraq have already turned up on ‘ebay’.

…  I wonder how long this one will prove to be ?