bigjohn

There is many a good tune played on an old fiddle.

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  • My Life and Times

    I was born in 1939 BC. That's 'Before Computers'. Luckily I survived the following events in my life, such as World War II, The London Blitz, Rationing, and worst of all... Archbishop Temple's School.

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    During the mid 1950s I was enjoying Rock 'n' Roll and being a first generation teenager, when suddenly, just like Elvis, I found myself in uniform during 'The Cold War'...and then

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    I became 'a family'. Which meant that I sort of missed the 'swinging sixties', but still managed to look a complete prat in the 70s, just like everyone else.

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    During the 'Thatcher Years' I lost my hair and a lot of people lost a good deal more. My career fluctuated to say the least as I was demoted, promoted, fired and hired a number of times, but still I managed to stagger on into a welcome retirement and to celebrate 50 years of happy marriage.
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Archive for the ‘rant’ Category

Here we go again. – Part Ten

Posted by Big John on December 16, 2014

I suppose that I must have imagined it, but didn’t I once, not so long ago, hear a lying basta… government minister tell us that our troops would never return to Iraq and that there would never again be any British ‘boots on the ground’ in Middle Eastern conflicts ?

Now it’s been revealed rumoured that British Special Forces have conducted a series of attacks and are believed to have killed hundreds of ‘IS’ jihadis. It has also been announced that we will be sending hundreds of our soldiers to train Iraqi recruits, and that the USA has announced that it is committing 1,500 troops in the same role, while up to 400 Australian soldiers and 100 German (Blimey !) personnel will also be involved.

Umm ?.. Training? .. Why am I reminded about Vietnam, all those American ‘advisors’, and that old joke about rifles issued to the American trained ARVN (South Vietnamese Army) which where sold as army surplus and labelled ..

…  “Never been fired and only dropped once” !

Posted in humour, political, rant | 1 Comment »

Weird or what ?

Posted by Big John on December 13, 2014

Ever heard of .. ‘Autonomous Sensory Meridian Response’ .. ? .. No, me neither !

Well, if you really want to know what a ‘bonkers’ world we now live in, you couldn’t find a better example than the thousands of people who claim to experience pleasure from listening to whispers and scratchy noises in a bizarre phenomenon known as ‘A.S.M.R’. Some even claim to go all tingly when watching someone folding towels.

No, I’m not making this up … Read about it … Here !

One thing that you can be sure of is that once the ‘alternative therapy’ merchants get in on the act, these ‘susceptible individuals’ will soon be listening to the ‘scratchy noise’ of someone else counting what had previously been …

…  their money !

Posted in humour, rant | Leave a Comment »

Have a great day America … but …

Posted by Big John on November 26, 2014

In previous posts I have often had a little moan about how American customs have found their way ‘across the pond’.

OK, so some can be related to British festivals, and as much as I dislike the ‘import’, ‘Trick or Treat’ does have some connection with our own Halloween: but how do you show this country’s connection to most of our other new ‘traditions’, such as those ‘celeb’ style school proms and those bizarre junior beauty pageants ?

Now I have just read, that an increase in the sale of turkeys during this month has been due to the fact that some families in this country now celebrate Thanksgiving with a traditional American meal.

I’m not sure if I believe this to be true, but if it is, then you can bet ‘your bottom dollar’ that, right at this moment, some smart-arse marketing man is planning a UK ‘Stars and Stripes’ campaign for next year’s …

… Fourth of July !

Posted in humour, rant | 6 Comments »

HAPPY HALLOWEEN !

Posted by Big John on October 30, 2014

I know, this heading is unusual, as this grumpy old git, usually rants and moans at this time of year, not about the traditional festival, but about that ‘import’ from the USA … ‘Trick or bloody Treat’ !

So why is this year different ? … Simple answer … Attrition ! … Which the dictionary defines as … “a wearing down or weakening of resistance, especially as a result of continuous pressure or harassment“. In other words I have been ‘swamped’ by all the commercialism, which seems to have multiplied one hundred fold this year, with TV and newspapers churning out ‘creepy’ ads and advice on how to have a ghoulish great time.

My local Sainsbury’s supermarket is stacked out with pumpkins, and it’s aisles have been full of Trick or Treat ‘tat’ for weeks. On my visit to the store earlier this week two very small children nearly crashed into me as they raced down the aisle waving orange ‘pumpkin’ buckets and screaming … “TRICK or TREAT !” .. “TRICK or TREAT !” … I’m sure that they did not have a clue what Halloween is all about; and you can bet that …

… their bat brained parents don’t either ! 

Posted in humour, rant | 2 Comments »

So, that’s that then !

Posted by Big John on October 27, 2014

So the last British combat troops are leaving Afghanistan and Camp Bastion is no more. Even the memorials to those who died in this conflict have been removed. Let us hope that our American, and any other, allies still there will soon follow.

I won’t repeat what has so often been reported about the waste of so many lives, the ridiculous claims of ‘mission accomplished’ by some military commanders and politicians, and the staggering amounts of money spent; except to say that on the subject of money, I see that our government has promised £178 million per year in aid to Afghanistan until 2017.

I would suggest that they have it sent as a large bag of cash via some helicopter pilot, who has instructions to fly to Helmand province and drop it next to the first bearded tribesman he sees who is wearing a turban, carrying an AK47 and tending a poppy field; thereby …

… cutting out the middle man !

Posted in political, rant | 2 Comments »

My “window on the world” !

Posted by Big John on October 17, 2014

Although I spend time on the internet and still have a daily newspaper delivered, most of what I learn about the world and much of what I see in the way of entertainment comes to me through my television screen: and, I must say that this grumpy old git sometimes regrets not leaving the TV on ‘standby’ !

For what I often see on my TV screen is a ‘shallow’ world where the cult of ‘celebrity’ is worshipped, and the crude and the vulgar is accepted without question. In this world wit and droll humour has been largely replaced by loutish behaviour and foulmouthed utterances.

This is not only seen in the world of entertainment, sport, and those dreadful ‘Reality’ TV shows, where ignorance and stupidity are applauded by screaming morons fans; but, also in the political arenas of the world, where those who seek to govern we ‘lesser mortals’ often show themselves for the self-serving, arrogant, hypocritical incompetents that they are.

I also see a world where people still believe in medieval superstition, many of them wishing to drag us back to the dark ages in the name of some deity or other. Some are prepared to slaughter believers and non-believers alike, in the name of their religion, whilst others just want to rule over the gullible.

At the moment I see terror in Africa and panic in much of the world, as a frightening ‘plague’  threatens to spread: but apart from the efforts of a few brave health workers, little seems to be happening, and, as usual, our posturing political leaders don’t seem to have a clue what to do about it.

OK, so behind all the ghastly glitz and glitter, and amongst all the doom and gloom, I do occasionally glimpse a story which encourages me to believe that the whole world is not full of Philistines, fanatics and fools, but, regrettably,   …

…   it doesn’t happen very often !

Posted in humour, political, rant, religion | 1 Comment »

Holy Humping !

Posted by Big John on September 30, 2014

A Roman Catholic bishop has been a very naughty old priest by breaking his vows of celibacy with, not one, but two women, and who knows how many more ?

So who cares if he was frolicking around the font, having sex in the sacristy, bonking in the belfry, copulating in the crypt, having nookie in the nave, shagging in some shrine: and as for what he may have been doing in the oratory ? … Well, let’s not go there !

Anyway, he was as they say only .. “Getting to know someone in the biblical way” !

Let’s just hope that, unlike many creepy Catholic clerics, he resisted visiting  …

… the choir stalls !

Posted in humour, rant, religion | 5 Comments »

So who is that on the cover ?

Posted by Big John on September 20, 2014

I am about half way through reading a book about young people who fought in the French Resistance during World War II. It is a translation of a work by the leading French author Marc Levy: but I think something must have got ‘lost in translation’, for the main character in the tale, and ‘hero’ so to speak, who dreams about becoming an RAF pilot, is described as having …  “red hair, white skin dotted with red freckles” … and … “a short sighted gaze behind his glasses” …

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It’s just like in the movies, when they decide to film a ‘best seller’ and cast some actor who bears not the slightest resemblance to an interesting character as described in one of your favourite novels: and as for historical ‘blockbusters’, well who could forget the 1950’s epic load of ‘old cobblers’ .. “The Conqueror” .. starring the great Hollywood actor John Wayne as the much feared Mongol warrior …

… Genghis Khan !

Posted in humour, nostalgia, rant | 3 Comments »

 
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