Posted by Big John on December 3, 2013
Once again it is time for my .. Bah, Humbug ! .. Christmas rant, and this year it concerns the deluge of seasonal
sh.. offerings on the telly.
I’ve no objection to the children’s channels showing films about Santa and Rudolph, and I’ll even accept the occasional snowy ‘rom-com’ or Christmas ‘classic’, but this year it seems that almost every other channel is showing non-stop Christmas crap, and has been for the past month or so.
I scrolled down just one menu page of my TV planner which showed eight movie channels, six of which were showing films with a Christmas theme 24/7 !
One movie title caught my eye … “Annie Claus is Coming to Town” … A story about Santa’s daughter leaving the North Pole to visit California. Can you guess which channel is showing this film ? … Yes, that’s right …
… ‘True Movies’ !
Posted in humour, rant | 3 Comments »
Posted by Big John on November 28, 2013
Just like the call to bring back the death penalty, every so often some politician puts forward a proposal to reintroduce ‘National Service’. In fact there is a private member’s bill before Parliament right now to do just that, and, as usual, publicity seeking idiots think that it is a good idea !
The following is an extract from a post I published in 2008 …
“Many people today would like to see national service reintroduced. Most of them have no experience of service life and think that a good dose of military discipline would ‘straighten out’ our current crop of yobs and layabouts. I doubt that it would, for even in my day we had our share of tearaways and rebels and although many of them finished their service as better people it was not due to screaming drill sergeants or a few days in the guardhouse, it was because we were all in it together and being ‘exposed’ to our fellow man made us into more tolerant and mature human beings.
I think that a short period of some form of ‘service’ may benefit many of our present youth, but not in the military, for unlike my generation they have not been brought up to expect to serve in the armed forces, and attitudes in general and the military itself have changed beyond recognition.”
I am relieved to see that the new bill does not call for military conscription for all, but for young people between 18 and 26 (surely over 19 is a bit late?), to spend a year doing charitable work or public service, in which the armed forces would be an option alongside the emergency services, the NHS, elderly or disabled care, social action and overseas development.
Now comes the dodgy bit; for the scheme would include … ”educational assistance for those participants who have yet to attain basic educational requirements of reading and writing in English and mathematics”, as well as “instruction to attain basic levels of fitness, personal discipline, smart appearance, self-respect and respect for others.” … In other words, illiterate, innumerate, obese, nasty, scruffy, anti-social morons !
Does the ‘honourable member’ from ‘another planet’, who has introduced this bill really believe that those same ”participants” would actually get out of bed and …
… report for duty ?
Posted in humour, nostalgia, political, rant | 2 Comments »
Posted by Big John on November 5, 2013
Following my recent visit to the health centre for my ‘free’ NHS flu jab, this week it was time for my annual ’free’ NHS eye test, so off I went to where that bloody silly TV commercial tell you that you should go; my local branch of ‘Specsavers’, where my eyes were tested by a very competent African optometrist.
During the examination we discussed the health problems facing a great many poor people in various African countries and how the ’western world’ could help. To my surprise the man from Africa said that the western nations should stop sending money to countries around the world immediately and other ways should be found to help those in need, as he knew “from first hand experience”, what most of us suspect; and that is that much of the cash goes to buy swimming pools, aircraft, grand houses, sports cars and luxury lifestyles for those in power, and very little goes to improve the health and lives of ordinary people.
Which brings me to my point ! … Can someone please tell me, bearing in mind the state of our own National Health Service and other public services, why, this year, we are sending £300 million of British taxpayers’ money to Nigeria and £280 million to India, when those countries can afford to blast hundreds of millions more …
… into outer space ?
Posted in political, rant | 2 Comments »
Posted by Big John on October 27, 2013
Once again it is that time of year when I trot on down to the local health centre to join in the old fart’s parade at the annual flu jab ‘jamboree’.
OK, so it’s ‘free’ on the NHS to all old codgers like me, but it only costs nine quid (about $13.50) at Sainsbury’s pharmacy and I’m sure that there is far less hassle there.
Of course the idea is that when we old gits turn up at the clinic, the nurse giving us our ‘shots’ can check our medical records on their computer system to see that the condition of our health is being correctly monitored.
“I see that you have not had your blood pressure checked lately” says the nurse.
I explain that I check my own blood pressure every few days and send the readings to my GP every three months or so. She looks at me as if she has never heard of such a system, and then tells me that I have not had my six monthly blood tests since February. I explained that I had the last one in September. I suggest that something is wrong with the system. She ignores me and sticks the needle in my arm. I can’t be bothered to argue with her as it is obvious that she can’t wait to stab the next silly old sod who comes through the door, and so I leave the treatment room.
On the way out of the building I noticed a very large red illuminated sign. It flashed a message which read … “PLEASE BEAR WITH US AS WE HAVE RECENTLY INSTALLED …
… A NEW COMPUTER SYSTEM !
Posted in humour, rant | 4 Comments »
Posted by Big John on October 21, 2013
After last week’s news that British Gas were increasing their prices yet again, our Dave came out with the following advice, when he said … “There is something everyone can do, which is look to switch their electricity or gas bill from one supplier to another, we should all change to other energy providers”.
Notice the word “we” ! .. This is from someone who has probably never paid a gas or electricity bill in his life !
Reacting to today’s announcement that more energy suppliers are hiking up their prices, (what a surprise this must have been to him), the Prime Minister’s official spokesman said that “nobody wants to see higher bills” and that David Cameron “understands the pressure that households are facing” and understands why consumers will be “angry” about today’s increases. ..“He very much understands why households are angered about this.”
Oh, yeah ! .. Just as this Old Etonian, who has never had a ‘proper’ job in his life ’understands’ what life is like at one of our ’failing’ schools which produce “the least literate and numerate pupils in the industrialised world”, or what this ex-member of the ‘Bullingdon Club’ knows about serving on the front line in Afghanistan, or what this privileged political parasite of a Prime Minister and resident of 10 Downing Street, Chequers, not to mention, one or two ‘de reses’ of his own, knows about life on an inner city ‘sink’ estate (remember “hug a hoodie” ?).
How I would love to welcome him into …
… the ‘real world’ !
Posted in political, rant | 3 Comments »
Posted by Big John on October 5, 2013
I have just received an email from a florist reminding me that Sunday is ‘Grandparents’ Day’.
This is a ‘new one’ on me ! … and, so wearing my grumpy old git’s hat I can only guess that it is yet another ‘import’ from that great con the consumer market across the Atlantic Ocean.
We will soon have ‘Trick or Treat’, the US version of Halloween, thrust upon us. My local branch of Sainsbury’s is already stacked out with pumpkins !
Mothers’ Day, once Mothering Sunday. Valentine’s Day, once The Feast of Saint Valentine. Fathers’ Day, described as .. “a second Christmas for all the men’s gift-oriented industries.” are, like the modern wedding ‘industry’, far removed from the simple traditions of my young days.
Now, I’m sorry to say that many of our ‘traditions’ have been hijacked by greedy commercial organisations who ‘cash in’ on people’s sentimentality.
I wonder what will ‘cross the pond’ next ? … Well with all the nutters we now have wandering around, probably (and I’m not making this up) …
… National Fruitcake Day !
Posted in humour, rant | 5 Comments »
Posted by Big John on September 10, 2013
I see that obnoxious oaf of a prince, ‘Air Miles Andy’, is in the news again for doing what this freeloader does best: being a pompous petulant prat !
It is reported that he ‘made his thoughts plain’ (I bet he did) during a ‘highly-charged confrontation’ with lowly peasant coppers who challenged him in his mum’s back yard, and although reports of what happened vary, a royal lacky said that .. “He was incredibly, incredibly angry. It was very much a case of guns being pointed at him and “Halt ! who goes there ?”.
It is obvious from this parasite prince’s usual arrogant behaviour that he has never heard of “Noblesse oblige”, so what a pity it was that the officers concerned didn’t do us all a favour by shooting first and …
… asking questions later !
Posted in humour, rant | 2 Comments »
Posted by Big John on August 27, 2013
When I look at the horrific pictures coming out of Syria, which often show the plight of the children, I am reminded that, as a child, I also lived in a bomb and missile blasted world, and so can relate directly to their experience.
Now, it would seem, that many of our world leaders (who have never heard a shot fired in anger) are gearing themselves up to drop more bombs and fire more missiles in some show of force which will not help those kids sheltering in the ruins of their homes one little bit ! … In fact, once it starts, we will soon see the inevitable scenes of
collateral damage the further murder of civilians, as some of those cruise missiles and bunker-busting bombs …
… find the wrong targets !
Posted in political, rant | 4 Comments »