Posted by Big John on September 16, 2014
Only a couple of days to go before we could see the breakup of the United Kingdom, if the land of the ‘haggis bashers’ becomes an independent country.
To be honest, I couldn’t care less if the majority of ‘Jocks’ north of the border decided that they wanted to rebuild Hadrian’s Wall and make Rod Stewart their head of state.
‘Her Maj’ might be a bit pissed off at not being Queen of Scotland anymore, but I’m sure that the Scots would still allow her and her tribe to stay (hopefully for ever) at her favourite Balmoral Castle, for I’m sure that they would miss the hilarious sight of all that tartan being worn by a bunch of ‘Highland’ …
… Germans and Greeks !
Posted in humour, political, rant | 4 Comments »
Posted by Big John on September 11, 2014
I don’t know about you, but I’m not very keen on guided tours when I visit a foreign city, as following some lady holding up her umbrella to look at statues of kings you never heard of, or to view the interior of crumbling churches is not my idea of fun. I much prefer to wander around at my own speed, ‘take in’ the local architecture and observe the behaviour of the locals: and this is some of what I saw on my recent visit to the city (city ?) of Bergen …
First the famous fish market … (click on images for a better view).
.. where a paper plate of fish and chips will set you back about £15.00 .. (Approx. $25.00) !
“Don’t order the lobster, lady !”
You might be better off with the goat or reindeer sausages.
.. or one of those mouth-watering black lumps next to the smoked salmon ?
A short walk along the waterfront …
… is the Bryggen Hanseatic Wharf with it’s historical vessels …
… and picturesque old buildings …
Now speaking of old buildings. I noticed this rather ornate one …
… as I was walking away from the fish market. Umm ! .. I thought. What could it be ? .. A church ? .. a synagogue ? .. perhaps a civic building ? .. I took a closer look … and I should have guessed …
It was a fast food restaurant, selling the dish which the Vikings so loved.
Traditional Nordic …
… PIZZA !
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Posted by Big John on September 3, 2014
In my kitchen I have a small toaster, with just two slots for the bread, and most mornings I have to decide if I want one or two slices of toast for my breakfast.
Now I have just found out that if I only put one slice of bread in the toaster and leave one slot empty I am wasting energy and helping to destroy the planet !
Can you believe that, not content with the ridiculous prohibition on vacuum cleaners, the EU
bureaucrats little führers in Brussels have their eyes set on about 30 other electrical items, such as lawn mowers, hairdryers and, Yes ! .. Toasters ! … Not to mention all those brown envelopes stuffed full of Euros being passed under the table.
I recently read that the polar bears are now happy, but the seals (their lunch) are pissed off, because the ice in the artic is not melting: in fact, it is expanding: so all those crappy light bulbs which the EU forced me to buy are a waste of bloody time; as it now seems (well, for the moment) that there is not one shred of scientific evidence that man causes global warming; so, if not ‘man’, who then ? … Well, we know that it’s not those polar bears, but methane farting cows are still a possibility. Or perhaps it is just nature doing …
… what ‘nature’ has always done.
Posted in humour, political, rant | 1 Comment »
Posted by Big John on September 1, 2014
Situated high up and towards the bow of our cruise ship …
(click on images for a better view)
… was ‘The Observatory’, a very pleasant and comfortable bar with large panoramic windows. Needless to say that it was a very popular spot for many passengers, as it offered a great view of all the magnificent scenery as we cruised slowly along the beautiful fjords on our first day in Norway.
Now you may find this hard to believe, but as I sat enjoying a cold beer and watching the mountains, waterfalls and pretty villages ‘drift by’, I noticed that many of my fellow passengers were not gazing out of the windows at the stunning landscape, but were fiddling with their smartphones or jabbing their fingers at their tablets, and a number were reading (mostly ‘Kindles’), or even knitting. Of course, “the best seats in the house” were occupied by selfish old farts who were taking their afternoon nap !
I wonder if they where the same passengers who, at our first port of call …
… paid the rip-off prices to pack the tour buses, ‘Troll Trains’ …
… and pleasure boats to view very similar (if not the same) mountains, waterfalls and villages as those they had failed to notice during the previous day’s scenic voyage ?
I heard one bloke say that he hoped to see a reindeer on his four hour
pleasure bum numbing bus trip,. If he did, I bet it features …
… in a ‘selfie’ !
Posted in humour, rant, travel | 1 Comment »
Posted by Big John on August 28, 2014
It wasn’t quite time to sing ..”For those in peril on the sea” .. but it was bloody close to it, as our cruise ship ploughed through rough seas and gales for a night, a day, and most of a second night on it’s way to Norway …
The above photo shows the view from our cabin. Most passengers restricted their view to the inside of their cabins or, better still, to their bathrooms, where they spent a lot of time “talking to the big white telephone”: but “It’s an ill wind …” as they say, as all those “Do not disturb” signs on all those cabin doors, meant that we more hardy souls could enjoy the pleasures of what appeared to be a half empty ship.
A very different view greeted me as I stepped out on deck early in the morning of the second day …
(click on images for a better view)
Now, I know that our American friends (and some of us) refer to everything from a rock star to the Rocky Mountains as “AWSOME !” …but, blimey ! this part of the world truly is …
It could almost be that mythical …
“Land of Ice and Fire” !
Posted in humour, travel | 2 Comments »
Posted by Big John on August 25, 2014
I have just returned from Norway, land of the Vikings: and guess what ? I bumped into one of Ragnar’s mates …
… and possibly one of my ancestors.
Now speaking of ancestors, my old ‘trouble and strife’ definitely has that certain Scandinavian look about her, so I was not surprised when we met up with two of her long lost cousins …
Not surprisingly, ‘she who must be obeyed’ refused to pose for a picture with them !
More on our cruise to the fjords to follow soon.
Posted in family, humour, travel | 2 Comments »
Posted by Big John on August 7, 2014
I see that
some nutter a senior lecturer in sociology has said that although .. “Gardeners’ Question Time is not the most controversial show on BBC Radio 4, yet it is layered, saturated with racial meanings,” .. and that .. “people were vicariously living out their nationalist and fascist fantasies through horticultural chatter on plant species”.. with .. “gardening as a means through which white people can express their identity without appearing to be racist”.
No, I’m not making this up. You can read all about it … HERE !
When I have, on occasion, listened to the programme I have always been amazed at the amateur gardeners’ knowledge of the ‘Latin’ names of plants, such as ‘Rhodochiton Volubilis’, which is more commonly known as ‘black man’s willy’, which when mentioned in a 2008 episode outraged some listeners.
I wonder which one of today’s three equally ‘offensive’ words outraged them …
… ‘BLACK’ .. ‘MAN’ .. or .. ‘WILLY’ ?
Posted in humour, rant | 3 Comments »
Posted by Big John on August 1, 2014
The craze for ‘selfies’ may be new, but ‘photobombing’, such as this by his Harryness is not; as can be seen from this photograph of my mother (right), her aunt and young cousin …
When was it taken ? ….
… Around 1920 !
Posted in family, humour, nostalgia | 2 Comments »