Posted by Big John on September 1, 2014
Situated high up and towards the bow of our cruise ship …
(click on images for a better view)
… was ‘The Observatory’, a very pleasant and comfortable bar with large panoramic windows. Needless to say that it was a very popular spot for many passengers, as it offered a great view of all the magnificent scenery as we cruised slowly along the beautiful fjords on our first day in Norway.
Now you may find this hard to believe, but as I sat enjoying a cold beer and watching the mountains, waterfalls and pretty villages ‘drift by’, I noticed that many of my fellow passengers were not gazing out of the windows at the stunning landscape, but were fiddling with their smartphones or jabbing their fingers at their tablets, and a number were reading (mostly ‘Kindles’), or even knitting. Of course, “the best seats in the house” were occupied by selfish old farts who were taking their afternoon nap !
I wonder if they where the same passengers who, at our first port of call …
… paid the rip-off prices to pack the tour buses, ‘Troll Trains’ …
… and pleasure boats to view very similar (if not the same) mountains, waterfalls and villages as those they had failed to notice during the previous day’s scenic voyage ?
I heard one bloke say that he hoped to see a reindeer on his four hour
pleasure bum numbing bus trip,. If he did, I bet it features …
… in a ‘selfie’ !
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Posted by Big John on August 28, 2014
It wasn’t quite time to sing ..”For those in peril on the sea” .. but it was bloody close to it, as our cruise ship ploughed through rough seas and gales for a night, a day, and most of a second night on it’s way to Norway …
The above photo shows the view from our cabin. Most passengers restricted their view to the inside of their cabins or, better still, to their bathrooms, where they spent a lot of time “talking to the big white telephone”: but “It’s an ill wind …” as they say, as all those “Do not disturb” signs on all those cabin doors, meant that we more hardy souls could enjoy the pleasures of what appeared to be a half empty ship.
A very different view greeted me as I stepped out on deck early in the morning of the second day …
(click on images for a better view)
Now, I know that our American friends (and some of us) refer to everything from a rock star to the Rocky Mountains as “AWSOME !” …but, blimey ! this part of the world truly is …
It could almost be that mythical …
“Land of Ice and Fire” !
Posted in humour, travel | 2 Comments »
Posted by Big John on August 25, 2014
I have just returned from Norway, land of the Vikings: and guess what ? I bumped into one of Ragnar’s mates …
… and possibly one of my ancestors.
Now speaking of ancestors, my old ‘trouble and strife’ definitely has that certain Scandinavian look about her, so I was not surprised when we met up with two of her long lost cousins …
Not surprisingly, ‘she who must be obeyed’ refused to pose for a picture with them !
More on our cruise to the fjords to follow soon.
Posted in family, humour, travel | 2 Comments »
Posted by Big John on August 7, 2014
I see that
some nutter a senior lecturer in sociology has said that although .. “Gardeners’ Question Time is not the most controversial show on BBC Radio 4, yet it is layered, saturated with racial meanings,” .. and that .. “people were vicariously living out their nationalist and fascist fantasies through horticultural chatter on plant species”.. with .. “gardening as a means through which white people can express their identity without appearing to be racist”.
No, I’m not making this up. You can read all about it … HERE !
When I have, on occasion, listened to the programme I have always been amazed at the amateur gardeners’ knowledge of the ‘Latin’ names of plants, such as ‘Rhodochiton Volubilis’, which is more commonly known as ‘black man’s willy’, which when mentioned in a 2008 episode outraged some listeners.
I wonder which one of today’s three equally ‘offensive’ words outraged them …
… ‘BLACK’ .. ‘MAN’ .. or .. ‘WILLY’ ?
Posted in humour, rant | 3 Comments »
Posted by Big John on August 1, 2014
The craze for ‘selfies’ may be new, but ‘photobombing’, such as this by his Harryness is not; as can be seen from this photograph of my mother (right), her aunt and young cousin …
When was it taken ? ….
… Around 1920 !
Posted in family, humour, nostalgia | 2 Comments »
Posted by Big John on July 22, 2014
I remember reading somewhere that some nutters believed that children should not be taught to read, because if you put a group of them in a room full of books somehow they would teach themselves.
Now I see that so-called ‘child-centred’ teaching methods characterised as allowing pupils to proceed at their own pace and make discoveries independent of the teacher, and where children are often left to work alone or in small groups, taking “responsibility for their own learning” are back in fashion.
In other words teachers do not take charge, direct lessons and set pupils structured tasks, but let the kids piss about all day, “like” mumbling to “like” each other and “like” texting their mates “innit“.
No wonder so many youngsters leave school illiterate, innumerate and without a clue about life in the ‘real world': and would you believe it ? … The majority of ‘Ofsted’ school inspectors favour this daft method, and .. “are prejudiced against more teacher-led alternatives”. However, their boss says that 60s-style “child-centred’ teaching damaged generations of schoolchildren. I bet it did !
I was educated during the 1940’s and 50’s. I didn’t think much of it at the time; but I guess …
… I was just lucky !
Posted in humour, rant | 4 Comments »
Posted by Big John on July 17, 2014
Well, I suppose that it’s possible ! … and this strange ring of little flowers could be the evidence …
… for it reminded me of a poem from my childhood …
“There are fairies at the bottom of our garden!
They often have a dance on summer nights;
The butterflies and bees make a lovely little breeze,
And the rabbits stand about and hold the lights.”
… I just wish that the dirty little buggers would stop …
… crapping on my lawn !
Posted in humour, nostalgia | 3 Comments »
Posted by Big John on June 30, 2014
I see that the ‘do nothing duchess’ has got a new ‘title’ … “Three-Kitchen Katie” … Oh, come on ! .. Do people really believe that she does the cooking ?
It’s a bit like her old man not wanting to take on the ‘job’ of a ‘full-time royal’. Well, would you ? .. with all that .. luxury travel .. living in a palace (or two) .. being waited on ‘hand and foot’ .. non-stop exotic holidays .. etc. .. Oh! .. and shaking hands with lots of
peasants loyal subjects.
Also in the news at the moment is our pampered Prince Charlie, who has been accused of using his privileged position to meddle in politics and try to influence government decisions. Apparently he is fond of writing to ministers in what are known as ‘black spider’ letters. Did no one tell him about brown paper envelopes full of cash ?
The Isle of Wight has just been honoured with a visit from the ‘Party Princess’ Beatrice, daughter of that prince of ‘freeloaders’ .. ‘Air-Miles’ Andy. Only this time he didn’t spend our money on a helicopter, he just ‘sent a gun-boat’. Yes, this parasite prince appears to have phoned his mates at the Admiralty and arranged for one of ‘er Maj’s warships to convey his dopey daughter to a ‘jolly’ at the HQ of the Royal Yacht Squadron at Cowes: thus saving us taxpayers the £17.50 ferry fare.
What with the above bad publicity and all the usual ’56p per head’
justification load of bollocks that appears in the press around this time every year; the damage limitation toadies at the palace seem to be slipping with only the tearful Harry diversion down in Brazil, which most people missed as the England fans were also crying as they said farewell to any chance of winning The World Cup.
What next ? .. Well, I guess that it’s about the time for Her Katieness to distract
the whole nation our royal worshipers and produce that important…
… ‘spare’ to the heir !
Posted in humour, rant | 3 Comments »