Bumps and bums,

I don’t know what I am more excited about .. seeing Kate’s ‘baby bump’ .. or .. the ginger spare’s latest blonde bimbo ? ..and guess what ? .. the dopey duchess is going back to ‘work’ after yet another two months well deserved holiday, and the ’Terror of the Taliban’ hedonistic Harry is off to South Africa where he is scheduled to spend three days (Yes, a whole three days !) ’working’ with his charity. Ahh ! I hear you sigh .. “Just like his ‘saintly’ mother”.

During his official visit holiday, Harry will meet up with his two cousins, Beatrice and Eugenie who will then join him at the wedding of Lady Mary-Gaye Georgiana Lorna Curzon’s daughter, the triple-barrelled, Isabella Amaryllis Charlotte Anstruther-Gough-Calthorpe. Now that’s what I call ‘proper posh’. I bet her mama didn’t work as a ‘trolley dolly’ like Kate’s mum.

Beatrice and Eugenie, who recently followed in their pompous father’s footsteps by ‘working’ (there’s that word again) as trade ambassadors for Britain by driving a Union flag-branded ‘mini’ through the Brandenburg Gate and around Berlin. Of course, the two pampered princesses were so ’knackered’ by this hard graft that they had to dash off for a well earned holiday on the ski slopes of the eye-wateringly expensive resort of Verbier, with Harry’s latest blue-blooded blonde, Cressida Bonas. I wonder if it’s pronounced .. “bone-arse” ?

I gather that upper crust ’Cress’ spent three years ‘working hard’ at university to obtain a degree in … (can you believe ?) … Dancing ! .. although I’m not sure if her diploma …

… came complete with a pole !