I have often posted about my shopping trips to my local Sainsbury’s supermarket, and about some of the characters I meet there. Remember the ‘zombies‘, screaming brats etc. and those couples who have never heard of a shopping list and walk the aisles constantly asking … “Do we need any milk ?” .. or .. “Have we any butter in the fridge ?”.
I don’t know if it is because I am a lone male doing the ‘weekly shop’, but I have noticed recently that I find myself being approached by ladies ‘of a certain age’. No, I don’t mean those little old girls who can’t reach a can of beans on the top shelf and politely ask .. “Can you help me young man ?”, but ones who seem to think that I am an expert on herbs and spices, or that I know the best way to cook a leg of lamb. I even get asked about ”the right wine” when I am choosing my week’s supply of cheap plonk in the ‘special offer’ section of the booze department.
Now I don’t dress like one of the store’s staff, so I have to ask myself why is this bald headed, miserable looking, bearded old bugger so often engaged in conversation by often well dressed and some not unattractive female shoppers when he is selecting his ‘BOGOFs’?… Blimey! I’m hardly ‘cougar’ bait, and I’m definitely well passed my ‘sell by date’.
Perhaps these ladies think I look familiar. Maybe they believe that they have seen me on television. I could even be a ‘Hairy Biker’ or some other ”prick with a fork” TV chef, or perhaps they just want me to … Well, who knows ?
However, I do know one thing, and that is that they all tend to quickly move on, when I show them my shopping list, and ask them if they can …
… decypher my wife’s hand writing ?