bigjohn

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Vatican secrets revealed !

Posted by Big John on October 13, 2012

I had to laugh at Grannymar’s comment on my previous post about the Vatican’s secret documents … “Do you think it was the bill for the Last Supper?”, as I can just imagine the disciples arguing over who ate the most gefilte fish and who had more than their fair share of the chicken soup and matzoh balls !  

Rumour has it that amongst the other documents to be burned on the Pope’s orders are …

  1. The pawn ticket for the ‘Holy Grail’.
  2. The result of the Virgin Mary’s paternity lawsuit.
  3. A receipt from a Bethlehem hotel for an en-suite double room with a crib for the night of 24th December 1 BC.
  4. A ‘congratulations on the birth’ card from Herod Antipas and Salome.
  5. Lazarus’s death certificate.
  6. A copy of an order to a Galilee fish shop for cod and chips x 5,000.
  7. A letter to an inn keeper in Cana complaining about the quality of the wine at a recent wedding.
  8. A note from someone who signed himself ..”Your faithful friend  J.I. xxx”.. to an unnamed resident of Nasereth telling him not to trust a creep named Simon who calls himself ‘Peter’.
  9. A letter from Mary Magdalene telling a friend that she was giving up the day job as she was pregnant and about to marry some carpenter who fancied himself as a bit of a preacher.
  10. Pontius Pilate’s report to the Emperor Tiberius that only one person had been crucified recently, a bandit named Barabbas, because some long haired Jewish hippy had sold all the spare timber and nails at a Passover ‘closing down sale’.

I feel that the bill for the last supper must be genuine because although it says at the bottom of the page .. “service not included” .. some waiter has noted …

…   “Large tip from a bloke named Judas” !

4 Responses to “Vatican secrets revealed !”

  1. Grannymar said

    Brilliant! Am I allowed to reblog it at my place giving you full credit?

  2. Big John said

    That’s fine Grannymar. Please feel free, and thanks … John

  3. How about:

    11, Guide for luring altar boys into secure places such as closets and boiler rooms.

  4. Ginnie said

    Grannymar beat me out with her request but I did send it on to my oldest son who will get a huge kick out of it. Thanks John.

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