Security shambles ... What a surprise !

Don’t panic ! … Only two weeks to go and .. Oops! .. Someone forgot to recruit and train enough security guards for the Olympics.

We’ve got missiles on rooftops, snipers in helicopters, an aircraft carrier on the Thames and fighter jets ready to shoot down any aircraft on a 9/11 style terrorist attack, but not enough people to search visitors’ handbags and rucksacks.

So it’s time to call in .. ”the poor bloody infantry” ! In other words it’s up to our servicemen and women to take on the roll of security guards alongside thousands of extra police. This will mean that we will have more British troops at the ‘Games’ than we have in Afghanistan.

What a bloody ‘cock-up’! .. and worst of all it would seem that many of those temporary staff who have been recruited to safeguard the public have not been properly vetted or trained. One report claims that .. ”Staff brought in by G4S are unable to manage simple tasks like work X-ray machines, search people correctly or marshal crowds” .. and that .. ”The calibre of people guarding us at the Olympics is just not up to scratch”.. Apparently some do not even speak English !

Now a solution to the problem seems to have been found which will use the well trained staff who already work in the Olympic Park. There are 2,000 of them; they know how to deal with the public and are already in uniform …

Yes ! … Here is the answer !