Aisles of the living dead.
Posted by Big John on January 11, 2012
It’s been some time since I met a true Sainsbury’s ‘zombie’, although once it used to happen on a fairly regular basis.
When I say ‘zombie’ I don’t just mean those who wander the supermarket aisles in a bit of a daze, or guide their trollies (carts) on auto-pilot, but those who have been completely taken over by some weird force and are bereft of consciousness and self-awareness, yet ambulant and able to respond to some degree to surrounding stimuli.
I met such a one this morning when I was unloading the items from my very full trolley onto the checkout conveyer. I turned away for a second, and when I turned back to reach for a plump free range chicken … It was gone ! … and so was my bleedn’ trolley !
Yes, there ‘it’ was pushing my half full cart towards an empty checkout halfway up the store. I caught up with what had the appearance of a woman ….
“Excuse me” .. I said .. “but that’s my trolley you have there”..
She turned her eyes towards me, and I could see that “the lights were on but there was no one at home”.
“Can I have my trolley back ?” I asked.
The creature replied … “I am using it”.
“I’m sorry, but it’s half full of my shopping” I said as I gently removed the handle of the cart from her grasp.
She stood in the aisle with a vacant look on her face as I returned to my place at the checkout.
Perhaps I should have asked her if she needed a voodoo priest, or perhaps, before I regained my trolley, I should have just …
… let her pay for the goods.