Big 'phone, small print !

You may remember that recently my “DECT” telephone decided to call it a day at the same time as my computer was playing up. Well I managed to sort out the computer, but I had to buy a new telephone.

I know ! .. I thought, I’ll buy one of those “easy for old farts to use” models with the BIG number buttons, large bright display and adjustable volume control. Well, none of us are getting any younger and I could be needing all those features anytime soon.

So I searched the web for a simple cordless telephone which incorporated an answering machine, and spent bloody ages trying to find one. In fact there is no such thing as a “simple” telephone anymore, for they’ve all got …  Handsfree speakerphones … Baby phone / room monitoring …  5 polyphonic sounds & 10 melodies …  Alarm call & date reminder …  Paging … 150 numbers & name VIP directories …  20 last number redial …   Automatic redial …  Caller ID/CLIP … Call transfer  … Intercom …  40 minute answering machine …   Remote access … Call screening … and … a PIN protected mailbox. It wouldn’t surprise me if some had a ”Beam me up, Scotty” button !

Now why would I want to store 150 numbers ? I can count the people I call on the fingers of one hand and none of them are VIP’s and I would probably forget the PIN number to my “protected mailbox” if I had one. 

Well to cut a long story short, I did eventually find an ‘old git friendly’ DECT ‘phone, and I’m quite pleased with it. It’s fairly simple to use and can be silenced when I’m having my afternoon nap. The only problem came when I unpacked the box and started to read the instructions which come in every bloody language under the sun, and mainly consist of tiny little diagrams linked by even smaller arrows, which must be difficult for even a young person with perfect sight to see and understand. How the manufacturers expect old biddies with dodgy vision to manage I don’t know. Ah ! well … 

… Pass the magnifying glass !