“One man went to mow” …

The sound of lawnmowers has been in the air around here since the middle of February: so the other day I decided that I had better have a go at my patch of weedy grass before it got out of hand.  

It’s not a very big lawn, but it’s finished off two lawn mowers in the past ten years, and number three looked much the worse for wear as I wheeled it out of the shed after it’s winter hibernation.

Before I could even start mowing my lawn, one of the wheels came off and the grass box fell apart as soon as it hit one of the many humps on what I’m sure must be the site of some ancient Saxon burial ground. The spring which held the box in place flew over a hedge never to be seen again, as the motor whined to a shuddering stop.  

“Bollocks !” I said as I kicked the ‘Made in China’ sticker on the side of the mower and decided, there and then, to ‘invest’ in a ‘quality’ machine.

Now having bought one or two German made household appliances and power tools in the past, I decided to say “sod the expense” and go for the latest thing in grass cutting technology from ‘ze farterland’.

Having returned from my local B&Q with my new mower …

… I decided not to waste any more time and immediately unpacked the box and commenced to assemble the machine. After an hour or so of total confusion, I threw away the bloody useless assembly instructions …  

 …  and was ready to declare ’blitzkrieg‘ on the lawn.

I’m pleased to report that my new ‘Rasenmäher’ swept through my tangled mass of grass like a proper Prussian ‘panzer’, leaving not a blade untouched, which is surprising since I still have five plastic parts and a couple of screws in the bottom of the box …

…    which must fit somewhere.