“This may sting a bit”.
Posted by Big John on September 19, 2007
I’ve found that as I grow older I get problems with parts of my body I never knew I had: take my prostate gland for instance.
I looked it up on the web and found that it appeared to be situated near the entrance to the bladder, so why when I visited my doctor did he tell me to drop my trousers, lay on his couch and stick out my bum ? I won’t go into details, but what came next involved a rubber glove and a tube of lubricating gel.
More gel came into play when I visited the hospital for an ultra sound scan of my lower abdomen. Not an unpleasant experience, but I did feel a bit of a prat sitting amongst all those pregnant women in the waiting room, and unlike them, I wasn’t even presented with a copy to take home to show the family.
Now I must admit that I was not looking forward to my latest visit to the hospital, for it involved something called a ‘flexible cystoscopy’ which as far as I could tell involved having a tube containing a ’telescope’ shoved up your willy for a look around inside your plumbing.
As I lay on the examination couch with my hospital gown pulled up to my waist (not a pretty sight), my mental image of a long garden hose did not help when the consultant asked me to relax.
Out came a tube of more bloody gel. I’ll leave you to guess where that was squirted. All I will say is that it’s anaesthetic qualities where not all they were cracked up to be.
To try and take my mind off what was happening half way up my urethra I watched the doctor as he appeared to be playing a video game with some sort of ‘joy stick’.
I looked up at the monitor and saw something resembling a scene from a TV scuba diving documentary. Suddenly the scene changed as the ‘camera’ shot into a tunnel … “That’s your prostate” … said the doctor as the walls of the tunnel narrowed… “It’s a bit enlarged, but otherwise it looks OK”.
So now I know what it looks like and where it is. It sure is a strange feeling looking inside your own body and seeing something that your own doctor seemed to think …
… was concealed up your arse.