Getting ’shipshape’.

After our little cruise along the Rhine last year, the old ‘trouble and strife’ and I have decided to go on a BIG cruise this year and venture out onto the ‘high seas’.

The cruise company has provided us with a little handbook about life on board their ship and informed us that some evenings are ‘formal’ and that gentlemen may like to dress up in ‘black tie’ and ‘penguin suit’.

Now I’m not mad on ‘dressing up’ and it’s been about three years since I last wore my dinner jacket so when I tried it on I was surprised how well it fitted, but … Oh dear ! the trousers appeared to have shrunk around the waist by a couple of inches.

Shit! I thought. I had better see what else in my wardrobe no longer fits me, for since my retirement I have become a bit of a scruffy old git and never wear a suit, rarely wear a jacket, and I can’t remember when I last pressed a pair of trousers or knotted a necktie.

The result was this  …

…  two large bags full of clothes which I have no chance of ever fitting into again; including a pair of jeans that must have belonged to someone else.

I have retained a number of items which I may be able to squeeze into …  if ? … No! when … I have managed to reduce my waistline by an inch or two over the next couple of months.

If I don’t, I guess that I will have to spend a fortune on a new ‘wardrobe’ for our Spring cruise, or otherwise  … 

…             I’ll be in my cabin, eating alone .