“What did she say ?”
Posted by Big John on November 28, 2006
Today my wife and I joined many of the other ’pensionistas’ in the neighbourhood for our free flu vaccinations.
This is done at our local health centre where we turn up at the appointed time only to find about two dozen other old farts already queueing at the reception desk, as the receptionist patiently tries to explain to some elderly moron that his appointment is for the following day.
The receptionist gives us each an information sheet to read, tells us where to wait until our names are called and politely asks us to remove our coats and to roll up our sleeves before being called into the treatment room for our ‘jabs’. Good idea I think, as we remove our outer garments and take a seat. This should speed up things in what can only be described as a ‘conveyor belt’ procedure. … We’ll soon be out of here I think to myself.
How wrong can you be ?
“Mr. and Mrs. Gormless” calls a nurse…”MR. AND MRS. GORMLESS !” she calls again, and here they come, all nicely buttoned up in their quilted jackets, wrapped in their scarves and clutching their information sheets in their gloved hands.
“They must be deaf” I mutter to my wife, and then I glance over my shoulder at all the other oldies sitting in the waiting room, most of whom are dressed for an assault on the north face of the Eiger.
“They can’t all be bloody deaf” I mumble as Mr. and Mrs Gormless emerge from the nurse’s room with their sleeves still rolled up and carrying their heaps of clothing.
“Oooo ! ‘ello” cries Mrs Gormless as she spies another warmly wrapped old couple. “What are you doing here ?” … What a bloody silly question ! … They don’t answer, but just grin stupidly. I wonder if they are deaf as well ?
The place is crowded and looks more like God’s waiting room than a medical centre, with noisey old gits shouting across the room at other old codgers … “Don’t I know you ?” … “Oh yes, of course, you’re my late wife’s first husband. Haven’t seen you since D Day.” … or some such crap.
“Busy ain’t it ?” says an old lady as she sits next to me. She looks old enough to have been previously vaccinated by Edward Jenner himself, but she seems bright and cheerful enough. She slips off her coat and rolls up the sleeve of her jumper. Blimey ! … she’s following instructions. I’m amazed … and … Guess what ? …
…… She is wearing a hearing aid.