bigjohn

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‘Booze and Royals’ and babies.

Posted by Big John on September 23, 2006

It’s been a while since I had anything to say about our ‘beloved’ Saxe-Coburg-Gotha family (AKA the Windsors), but having just read that Willy is to join his ‘ginger spare’ brother as an officer in the polo playing ‘Blues and Royals’ I am unable to resist having a little rant.

Only recently we were treated to pictures of these two ‘Hooray Henrys’ staggering out of a nightclub, and later read that Willy had worn a blue bikini to a party before pissing off to Ibiza with his ‘Sloane Ranger’ girlfriend for yet more partying. 

Then came a statement from a ‘Buck House’ spokesman that Willy was not yet ready for marriage. Can you believe that … “He needs to feel more secure” … Come on! Are we really expected to believe that he thinks that he will have a problem getting a mortgage or paying the electricity bill.

So after a little bit of bad publicity the Palace PR sycophants do what they always do. They run Willy down to the local hospital to have his picture taken cuddling a baby. When his brother was in deep shit they sent him all the way to Africa on a similar mission. These tactics also give the newspapers an opportunity to trot out all their old photographs of their late mother doing her well known impersonation of Mother Teresa.

Now we hear from one of the Palace ‘toadies’ that Willy …  “is to address the wider issues of preparing himself for his future roles”. Like not only being a ‘chinless wonder’ in the Household Cavalry, but also joining the RAF and the Royal Navy. So just like his dad he will be able to dress up in all sorts of uniforms and parade around wearing a chestful of medals  given to him by his grandma.

Speaking of his dad, it has been revealed that this much pampered  prick prince is fond of a boiled egg, so chefs from his personal staff of twentyone butlers, valets and assorted ‘flunkies’ prepare seven eggs, yes seven, each boiled for a different length of time, to ensure that he can pick one which is perfect.

It was once reported that one of Charlie’s valets squeezed his toothpaste onto his toothbrush for him. Do you suppose that one of his butlers…

…..   dips his toasted ‘soldiers’ in his egg for him ?

     

7 Responses to “‘Booze and Royals’ and babies.”

  1. Betty said

    Are we to understand that you are not in awe of the Royals? lol

  2. Longrider said

    Go on, let it out, say what you really mean…

    Spikes outside the tower, then?

  3. gawilli said

    Rant on! We can take it!

  4. frisby said

    It’s the servant who gets to wipe his arse I feel sorry for!

  5. Big John said

    Shall I save a spike for you Mark ? :-)

  6. Libertine said

    I wonder if they have one farting and burping for him, too?

  7. wow – 7 eggs prepared for him to taste test?

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